Ode to a Jerkoff Artist

Posted by: Author: Age: 29 Posted on: 1 comments
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Ode to a Jerkoff Artist - Me



Some folks masturbate only every now and then,

And still others insist wacking off is a sin.

But there are jerkoffs like us, who have all seen the light,

We get butt naked and beat off noon, morning and night.



Those others don't get it, but we wankers think it's great

that we lack the will to choose to NOT masturbate.

We have a passionate love affair, between dick and hand;

All our lady friends laugh at us, they don't understand.



There once was I time when me and my Dick were just friends,

Always hard and inviting me to Wack him Off to no end.

But after daily jerk doses, sweet toss after toss,

One day I conceded my Dick was the boss.



My Dick knows that he owns me, that I cannot behave,

Now I call him my Mastur, and I'm a glad jerkoff slave.

I take lots of chances and I swear it's his fault,

But it's me takes the blame when I get red-handed caught.



We both love jerking off when the chances are good,

that I'll be seen butt naked and stroking my wood.

All those big risks have paid off great spewing rewards,

If there's a 'Caught Jerking Off' Prize, I'd own the award.



Mom caught me the first time when I was just thirteen,

wearing nothing but a hard-on, a naked meat beating fiend.

Miss May spread beneath me in just boots and a hat,

Mom couldn't help but laughing at catching me like that.



Busted often by my sister and by Mom 12 more times,

And they teased me by making curled fist jerkoff signs.

I would stand there and listen as Mom joked to her friends,

How much I loved to jerk off, detailing how, where and when.



So I'm a jerkoff Junkie and it's a fact I can't hide,

Because I'd rather get caught at it than salvage my pride.

From girlfriends to house maids, and strangers galore,

I even once paid good money just to jerk for a whore.



What they don't understand is that when they humiliate,

they just feed my addiction and I must masturbate.

Call me wackaddict, a meat beater - use all jerkoff names,

I'll only stroke harder and bask in my shame.



I've been naked at this computer since 5 after 10,

I'm covered in three cums, dried and drenched on my skin.

Now it's 10 after 2 and mom's just now walked in,

Standing over me and laughing as another gusher begins.

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