While many stories I see have authors who's first masturbation experience is special, mine was very frightening!
For about nine months now, I have been masturbating without guilt or shame. Two years ago however, my life began to fall apart. I was in sixth grade when my troubles truly began. I had always been shy about sex in general and information you get on the playground isn't very reliable. My parents, well my mother really, had always been fairly religious but open for discussion. I was the one who wasn't open to them. (To this day I'm still not.) I'm the good boy, the intellectual boy, positive actions kid, etc. I still don't know what it is exactly that made me so terribly shy about the subject; I never had any traumatizing experiences as a child. Hmmmmmm....
In elementary school, all my friends took a quick liking to girls but I was the one who stayed away from the opposite sex in that sense. In middle school, sex was the biggest thing guys talked about; more popular than baseball cards, football and cars combined. Everyone was always talking about 'nurses with big breasts', 'foot-long cocks', 'threesomes with two girls' and 'screwing-off in the shower'. On several occasions, kids would ask, full knowing that I was the innocent one, 'do ya know what an orgasm is?'. Despite knowing the consequences, I always answered no. They would roll with laughter and say, 'It's when a girl goes, Oh, oh ahhh!'. Then they would laugh like idiots some more at my ignorance. I never felt humiliated by their laughter since they looked and sounded like monkeys but for the longest time, I believed that orgasms were something only women could experience.
Finally one night, I let my curiosity get the best of me. I wanted to know what the obsession was. At about 12:00, when everyone was sound asleep, I turned my t.v. on and watched 'World's 50 sexiest'. Yeah, it's not like I was watching some xxx porno but it was sexual. The show was a collection of sexy music videos. For about forty-five minutes, I stared intently at the screen. I had an erection hard enough to smash diamonds. In the past, I had strong hard-ons similar to this but I never knew what the heck this strange, out of the blue, phenomenon was, much less what I was supposed to do with it. When this happened, normally before school, I would quickly rip off my clothing and just stand there with four and a half inches of cut, thick, hard cock but it never even dawned on me to touch it or hump something. That night was the first time I'd ever made any connection between erection and arousal.
After a while of watching the show, I began to feel like I was doing something I shouldn't be and quickly changed the channel. I rolled over to go to sleep and my cock rubbed against my pyjama shorts and a shock of electricty went up my spine. Feeling like I was, I ignored it and squirmed to find a comfortable position on my stomach. As I did, my cock pressed against the bed and soon I was humping like a maniac! It just happened. It started to feel good and I just lost control. Fifteen minutes later, I felt really guilty and my mind told me to stop! Too bad my body wasn't listening. I literally couldn't stop myself. I started panicking. My heart pounded ferociously in my chest, my breathing became excited, short and staggered, my body was shaking but I continued to hump without control. Then, it happened. I ejaculated. My penis pulsed once and then fell soft. There was no orgasm accompanied with it but I came just the same. At the time though, I didn't know what I'd done. My guilt led me to believe my penis head had exploded! I felt wet and thought it was blood. The scenes kept playing in my mind, 'I've done it now! I've wrecked my penis. I can't have children! Blood, there's blood everywhere! It'll be all over my sheets, my clothes, ME! My parents will find out. They'll see the blood. I'll have to tell them what I'd done to myself! Doctors will know, my brother's EVERYONE!.....'
By the way, you can laugh at this point. Anyway, I just lay there for about 30 minutes with those images in my head. I had never been so scared. Finally, still dazed far beyond the concept of speech, I lifted my body and looked at my penis. Still there. I let out a long sigh. My cock wasn't in torn and tattered pieces, there was no blood and no one ever had to know. I investigated further to find out what the strange liquid was that came from my penis but all I found was a small, wet spot on my comforter and shorts. I felt my briefs to see if there was any trace of texture or color. There was none.
My first time scared me so much that I slept on the couch up front for about six months. I never had an erection during that time frame. Later, I discovered many more things and I'll be sure to write so you can see them but for now, I think I've written enough.