My History

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I'm not sure how old I was when I first began masturbating, but there is no question that it has been a major focus of my sexuality ever since that first time. I think I was in third or fourth grade--certainly I was not sexually mature--when I first played with my penis.

I do remember getting a stuffed owl for Christmas one year. I had asked for walkie-talkies, and assumed that this odd-shaped, soft wrapped package was a cleverly disguised set of those. We had the tradition of opening one Christmas gift on Christmas Eve, and that was the gift I openend. At first, I was disappointed that it was a stuffed animal. After all, those were for girls. But one night soon after, as I layed in my bed with my brother in the next bed (we shared a room) I began rubbing the owl on my privates. It took some time for the feeling to get exquisite. My penis would involuntarily flex with feeling, then would subside. So, I flipped over on my stomach and began 'humping' the owl. At some point, the involuntary flexing became over-powering, and I couldn't stop. As I jabbed at the owl with my prick, I felt an orgasm! It was the most frightening moment of my childhood. Somehow, I just knew it was wrong.

But after that epsiode, I would hump the owl two or three times a week, always to orgasm. It could take some time, maybe an hour or more. Maybe it was less. I had to wait until my brother fell asleep. At least, I always assumed he was asleep.

As time went on, I began masturbating while on the toilet or in the bath. Although I never take baths now, only showers, I remember only too well how good those underwater jerk-off sessions were. Sometimes I still masturbate in the shower, sometimes on my back in the tub with the shower water pelting my whole body. It's excellent.

When I was young, before I could squirt sperm during orgasm, the orgasmic pulsing would last for a long time. On more than one occasion, I beat off on the toilet only to go back outside to resume playing with my friends and have my penis pulsating in the aftermath.

Before leaving elementary school, I had masturbation sessions with several boys. John had a thing about me spending the night, getting naked under our blankets, then rubbing penises together until we came. Still, for both of us, no ejaculate. We even gave each other 'head' from time to time. John's family had an older firend--maybe 30--who was part of their church. He was a black man and very kind. Once, we went camping together as families and this man came along. In the middle of the night, I awoke with him sucking me off. He was masturbating as he did it. All the other boys in the tent were asleep. The parents had their own tents or campers. Anyway, he sucked me until it came, and I sucked him too. He came with me jerking him off in my mouth. It was the first time I ever knew of semen. Sometimes after that John, him and I would 'play around' when I spent the night at John's house.

Two other childhoof friends and I beat off together, when spending the night or camping as families. By the time high school came around, though, we stopped acting that way with each other.

I still masturbate often. Sometimes at my desk at work, sometimes in the bathroom at work, sometimes while reading stories like these at the computer, or after renting porno. I love my wife, and have always preferred women sexually, even when I was playing around with the guys as a kid, and like nothing better than to make love to her and show her how much I care. But I still love masturbation as a separate thing. It's a release, and it's a celebration of being alive. I doubt that I will ever stop; I simply cannot imagine a world with me in it that doesn't include beating off regularly.

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