I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was at home on my own during the summer holidays, my two older brothers were out of the house doing summer jobs. I was nearly thirteen and I had had a few wet dreams which were embarrassing more than anything because when the semen dried I know my mother would realise what had happened - we just didn't talk about that sort of thing in our family.
I had been to the toilet and had moved round to the washbasin with my trousers round my ankles and decided to 'mess around' with my penis using some soap and water. I used a firm 'fist' grip to stroke and it sort of felt nice - I just kept doing it. Before I knew it, my breathing had changed and after a few short pants (I noticed my breathing more than anything else) the semen spurted from my penis into the soapy water of the washbasin. These was of course a 'sweet' pain in my penis and when I did it again later that day and knew what to expect the orgasm was lot more intense.
I had found a medical book the previous summer; it was really old-fashioned and had a chapter called 'On Begetting Children'. That was where I learned the facts of life no-one had explained it to me. I remember the phrase that said something like 'When a man finally gives way to his impulses and inserts his pens into a woman's vagina...'. I paused and read it again and understood why I got an erection whenever I thought about nude women. I don't think I had actually seen a nude women in the flesh, nudity was not something the family did either, even in the privacy of our own home. Don't think that the family wasn't loving - it's just that my parent had been brought up with some Victorian attitudes (at least I think so) and that's how they brought us up (three boys - I'm the youngest).
When I had been younger (4 or 5) I had been very keen to be the doctor when playing doctors and nurses. The girl next door would let me take down her knickers and I would enjoy looking at her vagina. I also remember doing this with another girl who was the daughter of one of my mother's friends. I could remember the smell of hot skin (not unpleasant) and appreciating the 'differentness'. I don't remember being allowed to touch their vaginas. I certainly wasn't encouraged to! Looking back it seems strange they never asked me to get undressed; perhaps they both had brothers so perhaps penises were not a mystery to them.
My first proper adolescent fumble was with my first girlfriend. We kissed (no tongues) and she let me fondle her breasts. I even got as far as putting my hand down her knickers and touching her pubes. This was exciting but I didn't get to see her vagina and she certainly didn't want to touch anything of mine!
With the next girlfriend things got a lot better. She was a much more sensuous person and I've heard it said that if people enjoyed food they enjoyed sex. She was living proof! By now I was 17, she was 16. Our relationship was on and off over the next couple of years. I remember being able to fumble 'down below' and touch her clitoris she would moan a lot and get very wet. I had read how to do this in a few 'dirty' magazines - the first place I learnt about a clitoris. I remember once she was so wet I got up and fetched some absorbent towel. She apologised and I said it was a compliment that she was so responsive! Eventually, I was also able to kiss and lick her clitoris, she said that this was the most stimulating, I have a short tongue and assume that this would not be as good as firm as a finger. I had asked her a few times if she had come, and remember that she was a bit evasive. One day I can remember that we were lying in the 69 position, I had pulled down her jeans and knickers to her knees (she never took them off completely). I was licking and stroking here clitoris and her breathing and become more strenuous until finally she came - I had given her her first orgasm. I can still remember the smell (faintly of urine but also musky smell) - wonderful!. It was so exciting to be able to touch her so intimately and such great fun to give her so much pleasure. Despite all this (and there was a lot of it) she was never really keen to reciprocate. I don't know whether she was self conscious or was frightened I would lose control but she only tried once. I had masturbated earlier in the day, she put loads of baby lotion on my penis and started stroking me. I really wanted her to just make a fist around my glands and hold me firmly ay the base with the other but I didn't dare ask in case I spoilt the moment and she stopped. Eventually however she gave up because her hands were tired - I finished myself off at home later. In fact, I only ever achieved an orgasm with her twice. Once when I was so excited I just came inside my pyjamas (yes we did wear them!), and another time when she held the base of my penis and I masturbated. She was great fun and had lovely breasts (quite large) and loads of black pubic hair.
My next serious girlfriend was also my last - she became my wife. We remained virgins during until we got married, as Christians we thought that sex (full blown intercourse) before marriage was out of order. We did have a good time however, as mutual masturbation worked well for both of us. In fact she had her first orgasm ever when I stimulated her, she has never masturbated in her life - she just thinks it's dirty. Our favourite position at the time was lying next to her when she was on her back and I was on my side to her left. I would have my right arm underneath her so that I could put 2 or 3 fingers inside her and my left hand could stroke her clitoris. I found that she liked me to gently pull up the skin on her mons pubis to expose her inner lips and clitoris. She would come first (really exciting as she often put her head on my shoulder an moan into my ear). Next she would give me a hand-job always careful to catch the semen, she didn't like it to spill on her. I can also remember doing it standing up in some bushes one dark winters evening. I don't know where my semen went, but I knew how exciting it was when she released my raging erection, used spit to lubricate me and then stoked me until I exploded out into the darkness. The cold air on my penis and the warmth around my fingers buried in her vagina was really erotic. Occasionally, I was also put a finger in her anus, if it was well lubricated I could keep it there while she came - it helped me judge when to pick up or slow down when stimulating her.
She only once gave me a blow job and let me come into her mouth but never again. Even after nearly 20 years of gentle encouragement she won't do it again. It was only after we were married for about 2 years that I first came down on her, she let me kiss, lick and occasionally suck her clitoris as much as I liked, but eventually would ask me to use my finger to really make her come.
Nowadays we still mutually masturbate as part of foreplay, I still love to lick and taste her clitoris, although due to delicate health she's often worried that she has some sort of infection that I could catch and often asks me not to. She sometimes has multiple orgasms when I use my fingers to stimulate her (we lie in 69 so I can use both hands to stimulate her, and push fingers inside her vagina and anus).
In general I still find masturbation (whether solo or mutual - with someone else) just as fulfilling as penetrative sex. If you masturbate or your partner masturbates you there is a chance to be touched 'just right' and maximise the stimulation and therefore the orgasm. In fact, masturbating someone else is sometimes a more intimate and generous act as you often see their genitals much more closely (and can be more accepting of them) , you are concentrating on their orgasm, when on the receiving end I find this VERY erotic.
What I have learned is that masturbation IS healthy, this site has actually stopped me feeling either a pervert or guilty. This is something I find very reassuring as even now when my wife and are in our 40's and she be at the height of her sexual prowess and mine should be on the wane! I find that I solo masturbate more often then we have sex.