I began masturbating at the age of 12, with an instinct to give a response to my frequently hardening penis. In the beginning, even lowering my pants would result in pounding of the heart and trembling of the knees. If my penis was flaccid beforehand, it would get hard within seconds. In all these tries, I was frightened of my shaking body and gave up... to try again after ten minutes.
A few days later, my joy was little touches along the shaft of my (then) four-inch penis. I was avoiding the glans without reasoning. Half a minute of touches made my body tremble and my penis is put in the pants again. As soon as it became flaccid, I had a desire to play with it again. Seconds after I made my decision, my penis was rock hard. I began to caress its shaft. Not much time passed before my whole body was trembling with enthusiasm. A soft but fearless touch to the back of the glans where it joins the shaft changed the whole scene. Some small convulsions were building up inside my penis and my body was squeezed as if it was under serious pressure. My ears were cold and buzzing, I felt like I was going to pee. Then came the contractions of my penis. The sight of it as if it was trying to leave my body frightened me at first but the accompanying pleasure and relief surpassed it. There were at least ten spasms, during which I thought of nothing and only tasted the pleasure. My glans was bigger than it had ever been, as though the contractions inflated it and the shaft was still having some small spasms. Only after ten or so minutes, my penis began to soften and I relieved from the fear of having an ever-hard tool.
After that day, I found myself in a schedule of regular masturbation. My enthusiasm for doing it didn't show any sign of decrease. My heart began pounding as soon as I place a masturbation session in my daily program. My penis was not easily contained when it reached fresh air. When I opened my fly to take it out, I always found it in a semi-erect state. Remembering my previous session and thinking about my next session turned me on very much that I got hard-ons even while I was sitting with the family in tight jeans. Having to walk around the room with a hard-on was embarrassing but it also excited me.
A few weeks' experience made me bolder with my technique. I wasn't that timid anymore, jerks started to replace caresses and soft touches. Encircling my penis with my hand was a great feeling. I was in love with the sight of my swollen glans when my hand is at top of the shaft and of my slim shaft when my hand is at the bottom. One of those days, instinctively, I had an urge to measure the length of my penis. Immediately I got me a ruler and locked myself into the bathroom. My penis was already hard and the ruler said it was four and a half inches long. I understood that I couldn't measure the length of its flaccid state, because I was so excited that it wouldn't get soft unless I masturbated. So I got myself a ribbon and measured the circumference of my hard penis using it. I got the largest circumference when I measured it around the glans and I thought that it would be even larger after an orgasm, when the head is abnormally swollen. That day I experienced the most intense orgasm ever, but the relief destroyed the urge to measure the swollen glans.
I spent a few more weeks by doing all kinds of measurements and investigating my penis in the mirror. I couldn't infer meaningful results from the measurements but I liked my mirror image. Then the next semester started. I paid attention to the lectures for about half an hour, then started thinking about the masturbation session in the evening. I got an erection during the last part of every lecture. During breaks, some guys were talking about masturbation. One day, I heard that every orgasm was accompanied by ejaculation of semen. I lost my head, was there something wrong with the way I masturbate? I jerked-off as soon as I got home, but couldn't ejaculate. That night I tried once more, by squeezing my member hard and prolonging the session, but not successful.
Following six months were the most hopeless period of my life. Everyday I jerked off once or twice, reached orgasm but couldn't spurt anything. I tried every way that came to my mind. My penis wasn't getting hard as soon as I lowered my pants, anymore. It needed further stimulation. After six months of pain, one day I stroked my penis hard with the shower gel for half an hour but didn't finish myself. I stepped out of the tube and got an erection again while looking at the mirror. This time I stroked to the end, the contractions were not intense and there was no ejaculation. To my surprise, after the fourth or fifth weak contraction, a transparent fluid leaked out of my penis. It wasn't spurted and it wasn't possibly semen (I had heard that semen was thick and white) but its volume was plenty. I investigated the fluid on the floor for a long time. The next day, I did a very enthusiastic jerk-off. I could feel the movements under my hand. My orgasm was powerful and great blobs of thick, white fluid were spurting all over my chest. I had seven or eight spurts and spent the following ten minutes playing with my goo. I stopped playing when I saw my penis was rock hard and praying for another touch...