Final Words and a Look Back

Posted by: Author: Age: 45 Posted on: 0 comments
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I wrote and submitted these stories in the order I remembered them, not the order they happened in. So below, in the faint chance anyone would want to bookmark this page, I have provided links to all 25 stories that were published here, but this time in my life's chronological order.

After this, I have nothing more to contribute here, and so I'll retreat, retiring to the Solo-touch archives along with all other past contributors.

I have to smile and shake my head a little at earlier reader comments that some of these stories seem, if not untrue, then 'greatly exaggerated'. I wish this were the case. My outrageous childhood and adolescent behavior was a secret I guarded more closely than any State Secret was ever held. A quick count of the similar-aged boys in my sleepy, happy, white-collar suburban neighborhood while I was growing up would tell me that I had sexual experiences with probably half of them. Amazingly, I was universally well liked, especially by the parents of all my friends. No one would have ever suspected my preoccupation with sex, my obsession with masturbation and the desire to make others experience orgasm.

These were fun years, and as I explained, during most of this time I felt little shame or regret about my behavior. From the very day I discovered masturbation, I concluded it to be the most fun experience in the world! Why, it was free, available any time, any place, and was far more interesting, good feeling, invigorating and certainly more participative than watching TV. It could be done anytime, alone or with others, and as often as one wished (at least at that stage of my life!) I couldn't see why there should be any shame in it. It was also a great secret to share with others, and awfully fun to initiate others into this new world. I loved to do it with other boys who, usually serious and straight-laced, would scrunch up their faces, close their eyes tight and get all red and sweaty as we jerked ourselves urgently to climax. I knew what they were feeling inside; ours was a mutual feeling I understood, and it just made everyone I did it with seem more 'real'.

It wasn't till late high school (on about the time of the story about David and Me in History Class) that I started to attach negative feelings to my masturbation attraction to other boys. That's clearly where I took a major wrong turn, repressing and hating my sexual orientation; trying to actively and aggressively change it. This was equally as impossible-and therefore blindly frustrating as it would have been for a short man to will himself to become tall, or a clumsy, uncoordinated boy to become a star athlete.

There would be plenty more stories to share from my twenties and early thirties-but I have no desire at all to recall these blurred, dark memories. By that time it wasn't fun anymore, so it would be difficult to write about even if I could remember all the details, which I'm afraid I can't.

If anything I wrote struck a chord with you, or helped you in any way I feel lucky to have connected with you. I wish everyone could experience the same peace I feel today.


Take care, and thanks for allowing me to share with you.



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