Dealing with vaginal dryness
First of all, let me say how happy I am that I found your SOLO website. I fully enjoy my sexuality and relish every opportunity to have an orgasm--either while alone or with a partner. Your site has given me a wealth of ideas for making my masturbation even more fun (although it's always been great). Thanks for filling this void for all of us women.
I'm puzzled, though, by the lack of input from women like myself who have to deal with less vaginal moisture than what, apparently, many of your readers experience. I'm envious of these women who write about their pussies getting wet, almost gushing. I've never been blessed in that department. While I do get wet, it is never enough for comfort, especially during intercourse or when playing with toys I want to insert. Even when I was younger I had a "dry pussy" most of the time, regardless of how turned on I was. Then when I went through menopause at a very early age (mid-30s) that box of mine got even dryer despite the fact that my doctor had me on hormone replacement therapy. Now, more than 10 years later, I'm still having to cope with it--but over my sexual lifetime I've come up with some awesome but simple solutions that I'd like to share.
While I was growing up and first starting to masturbate, I discovered several things around the house which I used to make my slit slippery. Most of them worked ok and they made my masturbation more exciting and the results (orgasms) more intense. But the clean-up was awful. After enjoying a fantastic orgasm, who wants to go into the bathroom and try to remove sticky Vaseline or cooking oil from a sensitive cunt? It somehow detracts from the moment in a big way! Some lotions and hand creams worked alright but they still weren't close enough to my natural, but sadly inadequate, pussy juices.
While in college I discovered K-Y in a tube and used it for years. Occasionally I picked up some of those special liquid lovers' lotions sold in love boutiques or adult stores but they were usually more expensive and not that much better. There was another brand, an imitation K-Y (called H-R lubricant, I think) which also was available at any drug store and it was ok too. When I wanted to masturbate (usually daily), part of my ritual was pulling out the tube of lube from my bedside drawer. Clean-up with these products was simple because they are water based and it washes off easily. Much better than the gummy Vaseline!
Then a few years ago the makers of K-Y came out with their own liquid lube product, K-Y Liquid "Personal Lubricant." (Don't you love how these marketers hype products made for use between the legs as "personal" this or "personal" that?) The bottle says "smooth, silky, non-sticky." It is nice and smooth; I guess it's "silky," whatever that means; but I wouldn't go so far to say it is completely non-sticky. Although it washes off easily, there is some stickiness, unlike your body's own "personal moisture." But, all in all, I found it to be a big step up from the tube variety of K-Y whichI threw away after trying out the new bottle stuff. While going through menopause, my doctor even prescribed an estrogen cream for use during intercourse, but it was messy--had to be inserted with an applicator which my husband enjoyed doing but it was a pain nonetheless--and VERY expensive. And it didn't feel as good as the over-the-counter things I'd been using.
Let me interrupt myself to describe how I usually masturbate (I'll tell about use of the lube during intercourse with my husband in a bit). It's pretty simple, actually. Sometimes I use a vibrator (the Hitachi Magic Wand--a big plug-in model which really peaks me off in a blissful hurry) and when I do that I don't usually use lube. The vibrator is riding up atop my clit most of the time, sometimes with some fabric between the vibrator and my pussy so as to soften the vibrations. Moisture in my vagina or vulva isn't important. But usually I like to fondle myself, touch myself with my fingers, feeling about gently at first, rubbing my fingers up and down and across all the folds of skin in my pussy, dipping a finger now and then into my vagina then dragging it up over the tip of my clit, then eventually focusing my finger action on my clitoris almost exclusively as I rub that spot between the tip of my clit and the vaginal opening. This gives me direct stimulation to the head of the clit, a gentle tugging of skin which moves the rest of the clit, and pressure elsewhere that enhances the sensations. Many times I'll insert a well-lubed finger in my anus and work it in and out as I rub my pussy at the same time. Often I'll pull out my favorite dildo--an old one I bought in an adult shop years ago. It's roughly shaped like a penis and balls, but the penis is about half the size (length and around too) as my husband's--and he is what I'd call average in size. The smaller size I find touches me just right and I enjoy masturbating with it, using it to touch my pussy instead of my fingers. I don't insert it much, just rub it up and down my crack. Well, to be comfortable, all this finger and dildo play demands a lot of lube and since I don't manufacture much, it's K-Y to the rescue.
About a month ago I was in the local Wal-Mart when I made an amazing discovery. What's nice about K-Y is that it is available anywhere in any drug store (Wal-Mart, Rite Aid, even grocery stores--usually next to the condoms or sanitary napkins). Well, the other day I spotted the familiar K-Y logo on a new shape package. It was "K-Y Silk-E Vaginal Moisturizer" with vitamin E. It was about the same price as the K-Y liquid. I bought a bottle and skipped the rest of my errands to race home to try this new stuff.
When I got home I tore off to the bedroom, pulled off all my clothes, opened the package, popped the lid (these products have convenient pop-up lids; you don't have to spend time unscrewing a cap when you'd rather be screwing yourself!). I plopped down on the bed, knees up and spread wide apart. With the fingers of my left hand I pulled my lips apart and dribbled some of this new "Silk-E Moisturizer" all over my anxious pussy. It wasn't any warmer than the old product (!), but when my fingers slipped down between my lips, WOOWWWEE! Now this stuff was what I'd really call "Silky." Slippery to the max and, amazingly, it felt exactly like the real thing! In less than two minutes I was moaning and bucking into my hand, electrified by an alarmingly intense orgasm. I paused a few moments, then started feeling this gel again and, double woowwwee, I came again. After the third orgasm I almost collapsed so I thought I'd wait for more until hubby was home to show him my new purchase.
I don't think I have to convince anyone that I really recommend this stuff--and, no, I don't work for the company that makes it! (BTW, it's clear, non-staining, almost tasteless--which is neat because its presence doesn't inhibit oral sex, E-Z clean-up, and it is helpful in keeping your "personal area" moist anytime, not just during sex.)
Now, what about vaginal dryness and your mate? I'm lucky, I guess, because all the guys I've been with have understood my "problem" and had no qualms about use of a lube. In fact, my husband enjoys it because as he fingers me to orgasm, he likes the feel of my (artificially) overly moist pussy. When we are ready for him to penetrate me, I get a kick out of fondling his rigid cock, caressing it (need I say he likes this too?), then dribbling some of the K-Y all over it, rubbing it in, admiring his glistening purple head and telling him how much I want him to plunge that thing up inside me. He's never let me down yet with this kind of a build-up! In it goes, sliding smoothly all the way. He likes the way the lube makes his penis feel inside me and his orgasms are delightful.
One last thing about men: I've done this with my husband and other guys too-- I've never met a fellow yet who didn't ADORE the feelings I induced by having him lay down naked, then pouring some of my K-Y all over his cock and my hand. My hand and fingers work delightful magic on an eager penis and I find it is especially fun to just massage and play with it, invoking all those special sensations he loves, and finally jerking him off--all his juices flowing out over my hand and his tummy. Sometimes my husband will get me off, then I'll work him off this way. We love it. Other times we will both lube ourselves up, lying side-by-side, and masturbate together. It's a pleasure watching him slip and slide his lubed hand up and down his prick and with that action right next to me, it takes no time at all for my fingers to get me surging away with my own orgasm. He, too, thinks the new K-Y is better than the old variety.
So, ladies, even if you have moderate vaginal fluids, hop on down to WalMart and pick up some of this new K-Y Silk-e. I guarantee you'll enjoy it!