Attitude Changes

Posted by: Author: Age: 20 Posted on: 0 comments
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What began as utter humiliation has turned into the most stimulating reason for me to masturbate. I live in a fairly large apartment complex with my mom. It has a large courtyard, swimming pool and four tennis courts. Our apartment is at the far side of the complex and quite a distance away from everything. There is another building on the side of our apartment but it is enclosed by a high fence. I know now it is where all the maintenance equipment is kept.

 

My mom picked this place because it is gated with a 24 hour guard. She wanted me safe because she drives to Maimi every Monday and Thurday for work and doesn't get home until about 11pm. Anyhow, it was a Monday night right around 9pm. I had just showered and was looking at myself naked in my mirror. I began playing with myself and lay down on my bed to masturbate. I know I orgasmed twice and then just laid naked for a few minutes. I heard a noise outside but didn't pay much attention to it. Then I realized my window was open with the curtains tied back. To make matters worse my ceiling light and lamp were also on making my room bright. After turning off the lights I looked out the bedroom window and saw two guys walking away and could tell they were laughing. One was an older man about forty and the other was a young guy. I just knew they were watching me and I was so upset I began shaking and crying. I didn't know how long they had been watching me but it was obvious they had witnessed me masturbating and perhaps seen me posing naked in front of the mirror. It was the most humilating event in my life.



Over the next few weeks I found out who these two guys were. The older guy is Stan and the younger one is Brian. They and one other guy work three to eleven pm and seven days a week, at least one of them are here to clean the pool at night. Brian began talking to me at the pool lots of times and I tried not to blush when he did but I knew for sure he saw me naked and watched me masturbate. Stan also talked to me sometimes but I was embarrassed every time they saw me. Brian only talked to me about school or other mundane things but Stan would always tell me how pretty I was. I know Stan is married but don't think Brian is. I did masturbate sometimes when my mom was home but was more comfortable masturbating on Mondays and Thursdays when she wasn't home til late. I started to watch them put the equipment away at night and soon learned the other guy is Matt and the three of them take turns working on weekends. I also began to notice how they would always walk past my bedroom window and when they did I would stoop down and hide.



That went on for several months and I began to fantasize about them seeing me orgasm. When I saw them at the pool I was less embarrassed by that time and don't know what possessed me to begin leaving my window open again. After a couple of months I would think about them watching me as I masturbated and the thought of it aroused me. I began sitting in the dark at my window watching whoever was working and pretend they could see me naked and playing with myself. I would sit or stand at the window in a dark room and masturbate while looking at them. I still didn't have the courage to let them see me again until one night when Brian was working alone. I opened the window and turned on my bedroom lights. For my own benefit I watched from the bathroom as Brian made a bee line to my window. I wet my hair and walked into my bedroom naked as though I had just come out of the shower. I had the shakes knowing he could see me totally naked again and although it still embarrassed me I also became aroused. I began fingering myself in front of the mirror and became wet instantly. I had never thought about it before but my bed is only a few feet away from the window. When I lay down there was no way I could see Brian there but knew he could see me from at least my neck down to my feet. I suppose this made me more comfortable knowing I couldn't see him. I'm not sure how long I masturbated but I had multible orgasms just by knowing he was watching me. Two days later I saw and spoke to him at the pool and again I was embarrassed just talking to him. The following week I did it again on both Monday and Thursday night. Brian and Stan watched me on Monday and then Matt watched me for the first time that Thursday. He was alone so I can only presume Stan and Matt told him about me.



I've have been letting these guys watch me for almost two and a half years. Mostly just once a week but often twice. I never do it the nights my mom is home and never on the weekends. Last year I bought a vibrator that I use most of the time now and I also began shaving off my pubic hair last year. The embarrassment is long gone even when I talk to them at the pool and I no longer blush when I see them. When I am sure one or more of them are outside I almost always come into my bedroom with at least my hair wet. Just standing there naked and drying myself with them watching me gets me aroused so fast I want to masturbate right away. I take my time and by the time I get into my bed, I am still a little nervous, but eager to satisfy myself. As time has past I not only lay on my back to masturbate but also kneel down with my butt facing the window exposing myself to the extreme. They have all seen me mastubate in, what I consider the most humiliating positions possible. Some I have never thought about before and it still embarrasses me afterwards when I think of how exposed I was to them. Nevertheless I am so turned on while doing this I don't think about it while I am aroused so much. They know my mom well, know my grandmother and have met and talked to my boyfriend many times over the last year or so. They are very friendly with me but never give any hints that they have been watching me. I never blush in front of them anymore but at times I am embarrassed myself when I think of some of the ways I have exposed myself to them.



When I think back about the first time Stan and Brian saw me naked I do remember how devastated and humiliated I felt. It was a terrible feeling at the time knowing these two men saw me not just naked but saw me masturbate. I was a nervous wreck for weeks and remember my mom asking me a few times if everything was alright. She knew something was bothering me but how could I tell her what happened. I still can't believe how my attitude about it changed in such a short time. I went from complete humiliation to excitement and arousal in a matter of months. My boyfriend and I do have sex and we have masturbated each other. It's a completely different feeling when those guys are watching me. Right away, even when I am standing at the mirror touching my breasts and fingering myself, it excites me knowing they are watching my every move. Some nights I am not sure which one is there or if two of them are, but it doesn't matter. I could never tell anyone about this and don't know why I get so aroused by it. I often wonder if there are other girls and women who do this kind of thing and why they do. All I can explain is that it gets me more aroused than anything I have ever done and I often masturbate thinking about it, even when they aren't watching me.

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