This is not a hot story, just fair warning.
I've been watching a show that makes me think of him. The effortless smile, the easy touch. The way he could say he liked me, but didn't want me, in the same breath.
I grew up being taught that kissing was for dating, and dating was for marriage, and marriage was for...well, everything else. I wanted to stay true to that, but I couldn't avoid the butterflies I felt whenever I was with him. He would go out of his way to see me, was nicer to me than anyone had ever been.
It started with a kiss. A bet. Who could overhear what the couple hidden in the bushes were saying/doing first. I lost. When I kissed him, it was like my entire body ached for more.
When he took off my bra in the backseat of his car, kissed and touched my breasts, it was a high. He pulled out his cock and it was the first I'd ever seen. He helped me wrap my hand around it, helped me pump it because I was too nervous to try on my own. When he came on my hand, I was so excited.
He took me into his house one night. He lived with his parents, who had long since gone to bed. He lit candles in a bathroom and ate me out. He encouraged me to try giving him a blowjob. I was so nervous I couldn't do much for him.
I was always worried I wasn't enough, that he would get bored and move on.
He asked how I'd gotten so much better. I told him I'd googled it. I'd studied videos, web forums, and anything I could find. When he came in my mouth, I spit it into the sink. He asked why, and laughed when I told him that I thought I could get pregnant from it. He was enamored by my innocence.
We continued this way for some time. Him teaching me. One night, he said that his parents were out of town. We 69ed in his bedroom, I sucked him off on his couch. He said that he didn't want to be my first.
As we lay on his sofa together, it felt like such a normal thing to do; and I was terrified. I had always felt so uneasy with him, like I was always a step away from losing him.
So I left him before he could leave me. He said, "I knew a long time ago that I didn't want to date you."
He was my first a lot of things and, in a lot of ways, I'm grateful it was with him. Still, I watch this show and my heart aches as I watch her feel all the things I felt, and relive every memory of feeling like I was walking on eggshells, special and somehow never enough, and consumed by someone else.
We went our separate ways for a while. But when we finally did fuck. Fuck, was it good.
You must be logged in to post wall comments or like a story. Please login or signup (free).