Feeling More Like Me

I’m due for my monthly visitor, and as usual the day or two before, I feel feminine, introspective, and I suppose ‘girly’ is an apt description. I had worked late yesterday, my last patient of the day had proved way more complex than I’d thought. So it was past 7:00 when I got home. I hadn’t even bothered to change and just had my coat on over my scrubs. Some days huh?  So, I was pottering around at home...I didn’t even feel hungry...and I found myself squatting in th bathroom, looking for some panty liners in the cupboard when it was like my body started talking to me. “Go on. Pee your panties!” I actually felt shocked as the suggestion rattled round my head, I haven’t even felt close to wanting to do this for a long time, and certainly not on my own. “You know you like it....just let a little go and you’ll remember.”  So, squatting down there, feeling like some vulnerable schoolgirl, I let some pee drip into my panties. Immediately, I felt that warm wetness I love so much. I looked down and saw the start of a dark stain forming on my scrubs. I also realised I really needed a pee. So a change of location was called for and I got into the shower.  Squatting there, I slowly let myself pee into my underwear and my scrubs. I also let my mind drift and take me where it would, and it took me to a very strange place. There was a girl at school called Steph. Steph was about the most horrid hitch immaginable. She was stuck up, haughty, and the worlds biggest bully.  I imagined her standing over me as I wet myself abusing me. “You pathetic little bitch! Look at you peeing yourself! You dirty, disgusting little cunt!” With each insult, I felt my clit become more aroused, Fuller, throbbing. I imagined from my squatting position how much I could see up Steph’s skirt. She always pushed the school rules to the limits and beyond. I imagined I could see up her skirt to her panties. In my minds eye, they were far from the ‘regulation’ panties we had to wear. She had a green Lacey thong on straight from Victoria’s Secrets. The little flash of crotch my mind allows myself was tantalising, and I grew more horny by the second...really horny....savagely horny!  I finished wetting myself, and reached for the shower tap, I turned it on just a little, and felt a single jet of water hit me....my mind imagined Steph standing over me, her crotch pulled aside, peeing all over me. “You want my piss, bitch? Here...feel it.....drink it!”  I slipped my hand between my legs, totally lost in the fantasy but...”No! You fucking don’t play with yourself, cunt!” My pussy was screaming for attention...demanding it....needing it...while my brain went on some kind of domination marathon.  By now, I was soaked from myself and the shower, and shivering a little. Physically I felt cold, yet horny as all fuck. But my imaginary Steph wasn’t done yet. “Take your fucking clothes off you slut...but leave your panties in your hand.” Slowly I shucked my scrubs top and pants. Then I eased my wet, stained panties off and held them in my hand like some naughty schoolgirl. “Now, use my panties to masturbate with.”  My hand was between my legs in a second. “Talk to us...tell us what your thinking and doing.” (Steph always walked around with her two best friends. They were inseparable and always backed Steph up, no matter how evil she was being.  “I’ve got your panties in my hand Steph, and I...I....I’m going to lick you off them.” I raised my panties to my mouth and licked them. “What can you taste?” “I can taste your....your cunt...and your....pee.” I imagined Steph’s familiar sneer. “Huh! I bet you’d like to suck me, wouldn’t you you fucking Les”.  By now, I was desperate to finish. And in an instant, my brain had changed the scenario, still the awful Steph....still her little gang....but now I was punishing her. I imagined her on her back, me having punched her almost senseless. I was squatting over her face. “Now, fucking lick me bitch!” I made my fingers work like a tongue over my clit. “Steph, you’ll fucking lick me off....if I squirt, you’ll swallow it....if I piss...well, you’ll swallow that too.”  The mere thought if squirting in this homophobic bitch’s mouth was enough and I came hard. Very hard. So hard, I actually lost the plot for a while.  Back in the warmth of my bedroom, I was, I admit, quite scared about the fantasy I’d just had. Steph was awful. Not only a bully, but a liar and thief as well. I know for a fact she never did a single assignment. She always bullied someone else into doing them for her, and beat the crap it of them if they got less than an A. I’ve no doubt she bullied her way through Uni as well, although I dearly hope someone busted her ass along the way.  But having a fantasy about first being dominated by her sexually...something Steph would never have been a party to, she hated lesbians. I never had a damn thing to do with her at school, so I didn’t really have anything to provoke a need for revenge, so the fantasy where I punished her sorry ass was, again, not rooted in any life experience.  Oh, but I loved wetting myself. I mean, really loved wetting myself! There’s something, naughty, essentially feminine, (yes, I know guys can do it too, but hey, go figure) and it turns me on like like fuck!  Any future partner will need to enjoy peeing as part of sex. I don’t mean “put up with” I mean actively enjoy.  Ive met a lot of girls who have accidentally wet themselves during an orgasm, and it’s gone one of two ways. Either they’ve been so horrified it’s put them off cumming for ages, or they’ve accepted it and actually enjoyed it. Definitely two branches in the road.  To any girl reading this who is curious about the hows and whys of it all, I would say this. Get yourself nice and horny. Then pad up a towel and squat over it. Let a little go into your panties and just experience it. You’ll know if it’s for you or not.  And with lovers? Ah, well, I have had Male and female lovers, some of whom have been active participants in my love of peeing my panties. One boy, a really sweetheart, used to love to just watch me do it. If I did it slowly enough, and judged his mood just right, I could make him cum in his pants.  Weird huh?