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First Time

I also started masturbating at a very young age. The earliest I can remember doing this, was when I was four. Now of course, no one taught me; I had no idea what the word 'masturbation' was until I was 12. All I knew was that by lying on my side and rubbing my erection (I didn't know that word either for many years) against my leg, I produced an amazing sensation. I was aware by practice that if I kept going long enough, my heart would beat faster, I'd warm up 'til almost hot, and I'd generally really enjoy the pleasurable experience. And I clearly recall one night thinking to myself that if I kept on going for long enough that I could go 'past the point of no return' (those were my actual thoughts).

So I did.

Right after achieving this, my father came in my room to bid me good night, and he commented on how hot it was in there. I made some dumb reply, scared that he might know what I was up to. I have no idea if he figured it out or not, and I merrily carried on masturbating like this for years. In fact, until I read of the 'Mary fist' way of stimulating the penis, my only ways to do it were rubbing it against my leg or sometimes back and forth in both hands like a stick to create fire. Now, almost anything goes.

(And for younger readers-i.e. teens or young adults-I still have a strong sex drive, and I still masturbate a few times per week. I am also a naturist, and love the feeling that being nude in Nature gives me. So don't fall into the trap of thinking that age equals your 'genitals shriveling up and dying' type of thing.)

However, what I wanted to speculate on-and there is no way I can prove this or not-but I have, on occasion, wondered how a four-year-old child can come up with the concept of a dry orgasm and what it is like to have one without any prior knowledge. I have heard a few other people discuss self-pleasure from a young age. Certainly if you watch a baby rock in its crib, the urge is definitely there, albeit subconscious. My theory is that it can come from other lives (the concept, rather than any direct memory). I have no idea which one for myself, although from what I know of Atlantis, that would fit. And please understand I am NOT advocating fostering underage carnal knowledge (supposedly where the word f*ck springs from); I'm merely speculating about the sexual energy we have as children, based on my own experience.

I was already far and away enjoying it before the church had a chance to tell me it was wrong (not specifically-I never admitted to it during Confessional), and I still wonder at the power of church and state to try and control people finding pleasure by being so in touch with themselves. Is it because it can lead to cosmic orgasm?

Finally, I would be intrigued if other readers have had experiences that are similar to mine. Further, I'd like to know if creative and/or artistic people seem to have a strong sexual drive or not.


Posted on: 2004-08-18 00:00:00 | Author: