Wishing Doesn't Make it So...But Dreaming Does!

As usual, when I start wishing, my brain pulls up little nuggets of memory. Snippets of conversations, non-sexual things that on reflection, may have been very sexual indeed.

Like a good friend of mine from school, Sara. Sara told me she walked past the utility room in her house when she was about 14/15 and saw her mom sorting the laundry before washing it. 

She said her mom had picked up Sara’s panties and given them a quick smell. Sara told me “She was probably checking they weren’t full of sperm!” Maybe, maybe not. 

Another time, a different friend was in one hell of a state one Saturday evening when we met up. She had been caught with her boyfriend. Both were naked, and they were dry humping. “If he had of moved even slightly down a bit, he would have been in me...and boy, was I ready!” She’d been caught by her sister. “Jen did bawl me out or anything. She just stood at the door looking for a moment then walked to her room. My BF grabbed his clothes and ran for it. I went to speak to her, but all I heard was moaning from her room. I know she was rubbing one out, but I’m not sure if it was over him or me...it creeped me out.”

Sex is sex, right? Watching people having sex is nice. It’s fed the porn industry for years. If I see a couple having sex, it makes me wet and I want sex too. I guess that’s natural. 

But I kept thinking about my teenage years, and getting caught. When I get fixated on something like this, it nearly always discharges itself into an erotic dream. 

And so it did last night. 

I went to bed real tired. I’ve been working real hard in my new job, and it’s going very well, but I’ve also got a large home to equip...something I’m not used to. So evenings are spent with catalogues and on the internet shopping. I got to be around 11:30 and was asleep before I’d even closed my eyes! 

And hello dreamland!   

Perspective is odd when you’re dreaming. I seemed to be in my body, but also able to see the scene as if from above. 

So, I’m 13 in the dream. I’m wearing nothing but a pair of cotton panties and a trainer bra that I don’t really need yet. (Mom was so keen to get me a trainer bra the moment there was any sign of boobs.) I’m walking round my bedroom feeling antsy. Then I flop on the bed on my back. 

In seconds, I have my bra straps down over my shoulders (I’d seen this in porn movies on the internet and liked the idea of having a boob exposed in this way...even though there wasn’t much to expose yet!....or now!) 

Id slipped my hand into my panties, but I didn’t like the wet feeling on the back of my fingers from the gunk already in my panties, so I slipped them off. In the dream, I planted my feet on the bed near my bum and just let my knees flop outwards. I loved feeling exposed like this, (then and now) and I began to”flick my clit” as me and my friends called it then. (We would often talk about ‘having a flick’ or ‘going for a flick’) 

In the dream, I was wet as fuck, and really getting into it when the door opened and my dad stood there. This was something I fantasised about a lot, both then and now. I think I wanted him to see me as a grown woman...a sexual woman....(at 13? Go figure) 

In the dream, I got something that never happened in real life or even came close. He got his dick out and started to masturbate while he watched me. After a few moments, he saw my discarded panties and picked them up. He lifted them to his face, turning them round until he found the wet crotch. Then he breathed me in deeply while jacking off. This made me cum. 

When he was ready, he held the panties in front of him and came right in the crotch where my oust had been. 

Needless to say, I woke up soaked and desperate for a cum...or three. 

I think a lot of girls have a dad fixation in some way. I would listen to him and mom fucking and know that was how I was made. I’d lie in bed listening to them and imagining his dick going in and out and playing with myself all the time. 

Later, when I got more inventive, I’d climb on a chair on my closet and try to peel through the vent that separated the back wall of the closet from their room. I couldn’t see much, and masturbating on a chair is dangerous! 

When I got to understand technology better, I tried to rig up a small camera, but it didn’t work. 

One time, when mom couldn’t take the pill, I found a used condom in their bedroom bin. I remember holding it and feeling the sperm in the tip of it and I even lay the condom on my tummy. I so wanted to feel that sperm for real, but if I had cut it, they would have known. If I just put a pin hole in it, it would have leaked into the bin and that would have worried them. Fuck...it was horny as hell though! 

I was far hornier as a young teen than I admitted to back then. I know I spent each and every day wet, and when I learned how to masturbate...and several different ways of getting myself off...there was no stopping me. I think my favourite was a pencil eraser in my panties, then legs crossed and some serious thigh squeezing and/or foot jiggling. 

I know I was interested in other girls long before I started skipping PE so I could explore their underwear. Playing hockey and showering gave me a chance to check out how vastly different girls of the same age can be....and also made me tingle between my legs. Some girls, I just wanted to hold and kiss, but some, one in particular, for some reason, I wanted her to be really rough with me....hold me down....jam her fingers in me hard...even if it hurt. 

Boys? Oh yes....although I was scared of getting pregnant..and the teenage myth factory was in full force, “You can get pregnant if you touch yourself after getting sperm on your fingers...even if it’s days after. You can get pregnant if he cums on the outside of your panties....You can get pregnant if he fingers you and he has masturbated earlier that day.” Blah blah. I was fascinated about erections. I think that’s why I goofed around with my brother. It didn’t take a lot to make him hard, and we were...are...very close. 

That day when ‘it’ happened....well, the short version, neither of us were wearing much, we were play fighting, tickling, that kind of thing. I soon got my legs either side of him, and he was hard as a rock. His dick slipped out of his boxers, and my panties somehow got moved to one side just enough. I was absolutely soaked down there and suddenly, well, he was inside me. Play fighting became fucking...and neither of us wanted to stop. He told me he was close to cumming, but I just told him to cum inside me. I DO know that it wasn’t just the fact I wa fucking that was so erotic...it was the forbidden nature of it that really added to the moment. I came violently hard, soaking his boxers thoroughly. 

Ah...memories!