Ultimate Masturbation Pickup Lines

"If anyone came on to me, I'd be up for it. Pun intended."

"I've jerked off with several friends."

"It might be too much for you." 

"You're probably too conservative, too stuck in the mud to try something so liberating."

"During my last physical, I got an erection. I wasn't ashamed. Rather proud in fact. I like for people to see and appreciate, even touch it."

"My penis curves oddly to the left. Want to see it?"

"I don't know whether I'm normal. Will you watch, and tell me what you think?"

"OK, so you believe masturbation is a good thing, right? What are your thoughts about mutual masturbation among good friends?"