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I Love Online Attention. Am I Loser?

I can be shy. I'm shy talking to people in real life I don't know. It's awkward for me at times to make the first move, to initiate conversation with a stranger, especially a woman. I usually wait for someone to speak to me until I speak to them in real life.

I've had facial hair styles at times that weren't always popular for someone my age, facial hair styles that didn't always attract most women/girls. Even though I prefer the way I look with a specific style, it's not a style that necessarily has the most sex appeal, especially with younger women. Maybe I would have looked more mainstream in the 1800s or early 1900s.

I faced so much rejection asking women out in real life (Especially in college at age nineteen) that I've seldom asked women out since in a face-to-face scenario. About ten women rejected me back to back when I was nineteen. I think my self-esteem is still suffering years later. I always hear that women love confidence. Friends encourage me to talk to women. I feel like a helpless baby. I can't relate when friends tell me to just to go right ahead and talk to female strangers. I feel like I don't have what it takes in most situations. Not only that, but I can be picky with women. I look at most women and ask myself "How trustworthy does this person look? How kind does this person look?" A lot of women have decent looks but unattractive personalities. I feel like they wouldn't lift a finger to help me. There's a lot of selfish, egotistical women in New York. They feel like the world owes them something. I can feel them judging me by my facial hair and inward, withdrawn, shy public demeanor. I guess my awkwardness with women translates to the women. For some reason, in real life, I feel like I'm committing a crime by showing an interest. It would be so awkward for me to show interest to a stranger that I don't show any interest at all. I feel like I'm doing something I'm not allowed to do by flirting with a woman in public. One time I said something polite to break the ice and show interest, and the woman laughed at me and didn't even respond to me. She treated me like a joke who wasn't worth her time. My friend told me on the phone later on that that's because women don't like a nice guy. I give up.

I've had online correspondences over the years. Certain websites have changed for the worse. I can think of dating websites and other sites that have declined horribly. Years ago it was easy to chat with women on certain sites every day. Today some of those sites are barely alive at all, they've changed so much for the worse. I don't know where to go today to talk to women online. Where do I go to give a woman my number, or get her number?

One time I had some of the best sex of my life with a woman I met on a dating website. I remember when the message inbox icon lit up and showed me when I had a message from her. I associated getting messages from women with excitement. When I got a message from a woman online, it meant the world to me. My dick would need to be touched at that moment, and every time a woman messaged me, I'd have to start playing with my penis and masturbating!

I'm awake, alone at night, having finished work. I wish I could get a message from a woman. The attention brings my penis to life. I'd have to masturbate out of excitment. These days I don't know what website to turn to. I don't have any luck with the apps that have replaced the once-thriving websites. People don't seem to want to send each other messages today. It's been reduced to swiping left or right. I don't get matches on the new apps.

How do you feel about a guy with facial hair? Want to masturbate with someone? ;-)



Posted on: 2018-05-13 12:01:02 | Author: