32 Reasons You Might Be A Masturbator

"32 Reasons You Might Be A Masturbator"

(just speaking from personal experience, LOL)

1. You ejaculate more than 7 times in one week.

2. You have a large categorized file of porn images.

3. You have over 15 favorite links to porn websites.

4. You have over 50 saved porn video links.

5. Your porn magazine collection got too large for your closet shelf.

6. You’ve ever left a party early because you’d rather be playing with your cock than listening to stupid conversation.

7. You were on a first-name basis with the clerk at the adult store.

8. You have ever had more than three sex toys.

9. While visiting a friend’s house, you went to have a quick jack-off in the bathroom.

10. You’ve ever given your cock a name.

11. You’ve measured your cock more than once.

12. You’ve eaten your own cum atop food items.

13. You’re really proficient with one-handed browser navigation.

14. You keep personal lube in the computer desk drawer.

15. You have special underwear you put on just for playing with yourself.

16. You enjoy watching yourself in a mirror.

17. You’ve taken more than a dozen pictures of yourself “in the act.”

18. You’ve made a list of all the different places you’ve left your DNA.

19. You’ve taken a shower because you “smell like sex.”

20. You’ve submitted stories to Solotouch.com

21. When you’re out in public, you wonder if a person is hairy or shaved.

22. When in a hardware store you see something that you think might feel interesting in your ass.

23. You have a separate email address just for masturbation correspondence.

24. You check the living room for cum stains before guests arrive.

25. You’ve ever gone “commando” only because it’s easier to get to your dick.

26. One of the best things about summer is outdoor stroking.

27. You’ve used more than 3 household substances for personal lube.

28. You’ve ever calculated your total time spent pleasuring yourself.

29. You’ve ever calculated your total amount of semen ejaculated.

30. You’re careful not to splatter any pages when stroking to a porn mag in a friend’s bathroom.

31. When recovering from an illness, the first thing on your mind is your cock.

32. When on vacation or visiting friends, you suddenly realize you haven’t pleasured yourself in the last 3 days.