Mindful Masturbation.

Admittedly, I myself, many times am guilty of merely getting myself off rather quickly, purely to release sexual tension with no regard to the wonderful fulfilling process of self loving. Being the little bookworm that I am I decided to read more on the subject of mindfully masturbating. I came across some information on Orgasmic Meditations to gain a deeper sense of that which surrounds you. This called to me as I can sometimes forget the beauty in the art of masturbating and can sometimes treat it like having a quick bite to eat before work. (LOL) 

What I started learning was the Orgasmic Masturbation has been used in therapy as a way to connect deeper with a partner. Orgasm is not the goal. The aim is to become aware of your body and what feels good by your partner doing the masturbation on you, furthermore, using that energy to drive yourself in other area’s of your life, not just sexually. I read that women who OM for a period time, begin to bring a whole new level to their sexual life. This is something I crave, need, and will find. While traditionally OM is for couples I have made a Solo experience for myself. Although I did find some information on OM for singles that is similar to what I am going to do. 

I decided to give this a try and I made myself a customized 3 day Orgasmic Meditative Masturbation Plan, 15 minutes each night, where I choreographed some mindful steps for each night based loosely on that which I had learned about. This reminded me of a time many years ago, when I was able to bring myself close to orgasm with my thoughts alone and with a mere touch to my mound that sent me into a wonderful orgasm. 

Day 1. 
I started with a simple series of touch. I waited until nearly bedtime and I laid upon my bed. I took my hands and allowed them to explore my face and neck. Touching myself softly while allowing my mind to relax and go into a very serene place where I felt no worries or concerns about life. I wanted to be purely in my body, not in my head as I explored myself. 
This went on for about 15 minutes. Since orgasm is not the goal I did not allow myself to go further. I stopped and sent myself to sleep for the night. (I guess this will be an edging experiment for me, which I am terrible at). However, I managed not to cum the first night. 

Day 2.
I felt slightly aroused at the thought of touching myself this night although this growing feeling was followed by a disappointing thought as I knew I would not be orgasming. I knew I had to get past this need to cum all the time when I play. Like I mentioned, I can sometimes get lost in just ‘getting off’ and do not allow myself the pleasures of the journey. This is what I am striving for here. So, on this night I started where I did the night before as sort of reminder to my body what I had felt. I took myself back to the night before however unlike the night before I allowed myself to move to my lower tummy above my mound. I have always loved the feeling of pressure there it makes me get very horny. 

I got a mirror to witness the state of my pussy before I started. Part of the OM technique is for the partner to do this for you and make notations of the changes in the Pussy through the course of process. I however, as a solo sexual did it myself with a mirror. I spread my Pussy lips and witnessed a slightly pink clit and small. I then allowed my fingers to move in circular motions on the right side of my clit. I began counting the circles I was making. I did this with my eyes closed, alternating from a slow touch to a more vigorous touch. I felt a falling type of sensation into a puffy comfortable cloud of orgasm building. I had to remember I could not allow myself to cum. Instead I encouraged myself to use the energy for my meditative process. The moment came to stop. I checked the mirror and I was deep purple red in color and my clit was incredibly attentive and the entire area was extremely wet. I then went to sleep.

Day 3.   
What I found interesting was that I was feeling alive and aroused yet I did not feel as if I HAD to cum all day. I was not on  the edge of insanity with horniness as I had thought I would have been. I knew I had something to look forward to this night however. Again as the 2 previous nights before I began laying down in my bed. Starting with my face and neck down towards my tummy then onto my mound and into my Pussy to get my finger wet so my clit rubbing would go smoothly. I found myself falling into a nice rhythm in which I was solely in my body and not in my head at all. It was a wonderful free place to be. I was unaware of time as I meditated on my circular motions on my clit. I noticed my breath was heavy and my heart beating faster. I felt the transition from pure relaxing touch to the desire to feel it more and to feel it deeply. 

I then allowed my hands to wander now on their own to whatever they felt like doing. One hand  came to my face to tickle my neck and while it was there I could smell myself. This made me deeply aroused. I felt my other hand go inside of my Pussy. I was pulsing with desire by now. The nerves in my body were on high alert and my pussy was guiding me. Without skipping a beat within seconds I found myself on my knees and grinding into my own hand. My hand was smashing into my Pussy lips that massaged my clit. My body was now in control of me and it knew what it wanted and found a way to achieve this. I fell forward onto some pillows and grinded into my hand as I began to lose myself into a wonderful, deep, rocking orgasm. 

In conclusion I found this experience to be similar to many of my masturbatory experiences in past as I have most always explored myself sexually in a deep way however I needed to be reminded that sexuality is not just about ‘getting off’. I plan to do OM’ing more with purpose and without the goal to be achieving orgasm and see if it does in fact increase my general mood, outlook on life, and my personal relationships.