Returning to Solotouch After a Break to Write about Forbidden Fantasies

I used to post more frequently but life got in the way. The last I could remember, I was keeping a masturbation log during the summer, but then a relative got hospitalized, and I found myself making trips back and forth between where I live now and home. Things were so stressful at the end of the summer and beginning of fall that I was hardly masturbating at all, and whenever I did it, it was just for stress relief. I think I edged only once in the past 2-3 months, and it wasn't even an epic edge. Just a typical one.

But all that will end today. I've been working myself up for the past hour with thoughts that get me in the mood. My vagina has been dripping like crazy. I'm ready to settle in for an all afternoon session.

I've been allowing my mind to drift into forbidden fantasy land. These fantasies involve sex with another person. Sometimes, they are disturbing, because I very strongly identify as autosexual. But they are extra arousing because I know they are forbidden.

Cunnilingus is a common forbidden fantasy. I've had a few partners who give it really, really well and obviously loved doing it. I like to lie back in my favorite cunnilingus receiving position, hands behind knees, pulling them up, apart, and to my chest, exposing the vulva for maximum access. Then with my feet in the air like that, I imagine that an ex-boyfriend who was a cunnilingus expert is ministering to me.

Hand jobs also creep into my mind at forbidden times. The ex-boyfriends I've had who were good at cunnilingus were also good at hand jobs. I loved that they didn't just go in to give me an orgasm manually before intercourse began. Sometimes, the manual was the main course, and intercourse was just an afterthought. Or manual was the only course. As an avid masturbator from early childhood, you can bet that I have high standards for hand jobs. These guys did me very well manually, too.

When I'm indulging in these forbidden fantasies, I feel like a bit of a failed autosexual. But they get me so aroused, and when I masturbate from the sexual excitement, I become assured once again that I am truly autosexual.