My Journey

Category: Comments - Sexuality
Submitted by: Lucy Age: 18 Gender: Female

Coming from a very strict Catholic family gives you a whole list of "rules", but none of those rules really helps when you are getting to know your maturing body. I am not tall for my age and neither am I overly developed. I could just as easily pass as 13 than 18 and I am always being asked for my ID. I still use underwear I bought when I was at school. When my periods started I hated it. One day I was desperate to "start" but when it happened it was awful. I was irregular as all hell and I hated the way it would just happen. No tummy ache, no moodiness before. Just a sudden feeling of wetness and the smell when I pulled my knickers down to clean up. There was one occassion when I was at school when I felt that all too familiar wetness and I ran to the bathroom only to find that there was no blood at all. My knickers were soaked through and I felt really tingly there. At first I thought I had a yeast infection or something, but when I touched myself I felt like I was desperate to pee. A few more touches and I had my first ever orgasm sitting on the toilet at school. (Which was just as well, because when I came I lost control and peed like crazy.) So that started me off masturbating. Sometimes I would imagine a really cute boy (or teacher) sometimes I would just enjoy the feelings. As me and my close friends started to talk about sex more and more I got to thinking about actually doing things, and not just with boys. One time we all dared each other to kiss and pretty soon we had paired off and were snogging one another. That got me really horny and at one point I found myself in a sort of three way kiss with two friends. A few weeks later it led to a little snogging and touching over clothes at a sleepover. Then, when I was 15 my friend and I got horny one night and we masturbated each other. We actually went down on each other too. Now the thing is, I find myself thinking more and more about kinda rough sex with much older men. There is a guy at work who is a lot older than me, in his 50's I guess. I really fantasies about him fucking me at work. I lay in bed at night and imagine meeting him in a corridor and we just walk to a store room and he kisses me and feels my breasts then he turns me around pulls my skirt up and pulls my knickers to one side and fucks me from behind. (I should say at this point I am still a virgin!!! How sad is THAT??) In the fantasy he calls me all kinds of dirty names and I love it. Again, in the fantasy, sometimes when I want to feel really dirty I imagine him fucking me in my ass.

I find myself having some really disgusting fantasies just lately. They turn me on so much though I can't stop having them. Last week, I saw two horses mating. The stallion was on top of the mare and pumping away and I felt my knickers wet up. The thing is, he didn't quite make it and just as be shot his load he came out of her and his sperm shot along her flank. I swear, I nearly fainted. Seeing that huge cock spurt. I just had to find a quiet place in the stables and jill off quickly. (And yes, I DID imagine being fucked by the horse!)

So back at work, last week I met the guy I was talking about in the corridor and I just took his hand and led him into the store. In there I told him I wanted him but he said it wouldn't be right. He did kiss me though and said he would help me have a cum. I took his hand and put it into my knickers and boy, was he good with his fingers. He found out what I like almost immediately. Then I asked him to talk dirty and call me names. He said loads of stuff like "Your pussy is so wet. You look like a horny little schoolgirl..." all stuff I fantasize about. I came hard and long. Then I jacked him off. I don't think anything else will happen, but oh my god, I rubbed myself raw in bed that night.

My journey into sexuality isn't over. I know I want to have full sex soon and I know I want to try anal too. I haven't finished experimenting with other girls either and I have some desires I want to come true. Some of them are, well, kinky. For example, I want another girl to pee on me. And not just to squat over me. I want to be kneeling and sucking her through her panties. Then she pees. It goes over my chest and runs down between my own legs. (Some even goes in my mouth) I also want to lick a girls ass out.

By far my most dark fantasy is that I sometimes dream about being raped by my priest. I once went to confession with no knickers on and spent a long time talking to him and touching myself at the same time. He couldn't see what I was doing through the screen, but I told him about my "sins of the flesh" in detail. I thought about him getting a hard on as I touched myself and I came in the confessional. I know this is a really big sin, but I am not sure whether I believe in it all anyway.

This has made me really hot. I need to go do something dirty.



[lb][i]This story was originally submitted to Solo Touch and not published because it violates the rules.[/i][rb]