Self Sex 101

The best way to masturbate is to get a cucumber, a watermelon, some KY gel, and a condom a little too small. Lube up the cucumber and shove it up your ass. It may take a while but get it to rock bottom. Then put on the condom and cut a hole in the watermelon. Then fuck away at the watermelon. The cucumber up the ass provides for a great orgasm. after you cum save the cum and cut a piece of the watermelon to eat. Use the cum as a sauce for the watermelon. It tastes sooo good.