What Have I Been Missing

I am a 38 year old female. I have been dating men since I was 18. Sex has been great. Little did I know how good it could be.
I had wandered into an adult store with a female friend. She was buying a small dildo for herself. She asked me if I had toys. I had never tried one. She said I should. I was too embarrassed to buy one. So I came back to that store later by myself. I wanted to buy a dildo. I wasn't sure what size to buy. So I bought one about the size of the largest man I had been with, about 7 inches. I took it home and tried it out. OMG I loved it. I could control how deep and how fast. This was great. I hated to say it but it was better than any man I had been with. Now that is just talking about the sex part, not the emotional part. So then I started thinking how much better could it get. So I went back to that adult store and bought a larger dildo. This one was 10 inches and a lot thicker. When I got home I could not wait to try it out.
It felt huge inside me. Really spread me open. The feeling was incredible. I wanted to try an even bigger dildo. I was going crazy. When would the desire for larger going to stop. So I went back down to the adult store. Very embarrassed this time I went in with my head down.
I found a 13 inch dildo that was almost three inches wide. I was shaking just thinking about trying to put that thing in me. I raced home hoping that would be the last trip to the adult store. Who had I turned into. After about 30 minutes of masturbating I was able to get the dildo inside of me. I had the most intense orgasm. I don't see how I could ever go back to a man. What have I done. The pleasure is so intense. I still have thoughts of buying a larger dildo but I cannot take all of this one. The large dildo's make me so horny. Now when I masturbate I think about bigger dildos. I dream of huge dildos that bring me even more pleasure. Where will this stop. For now this 13 inch dildo is my limit but I hope someday I can go larger.