I Am Not Embarrassed....anymore That Is

I first masturbated when I was 13 and that was also the first time I ejaculated. Once I learned that ejaculation was nothing to be concerned about, I would masturbate every so often. Not every day, not even every week but when I did I enjoyed it. One day I heard some boys teasing each other about touching themselves and the activity they were describing was exactly what I was doing. From that point on I became deeply ashamed and embarrassed about what I had been doing, in fact the night before I had heard those other boys teasing one another I had masturbated.

The shame was overwhelming but a week later I masturbated again and when I was done I felt like I had this dirty little secret that nobody should know about. As boys do sometimes my friends and I talked about sex and even masturbation and although I did indeed masturbate, I never admitted it, even in the presence of those that would freely concede that they masturbated and enjoyed it. I remember once this boy kept trying me to get me to say that I masturbated, he kept saying that he did it and I shouldn't be ashamed to fess up to the fact that I did too.

I literally got into a physical fight with that kid because I thought accusing me of masturbating was an insult. Another time I participated in teasing another boy for allegedly masturbating in the bathroom at a mutual friends birthday party. I'd always say that I would never masturbate and people that did it were creepy or weird yet

I jacked off with increasing frequency as I got further along into puberty. It wasn't until I was 18 years old that I was comfortable even admitting the fact that I masturbated and enjoyed it. I'd love to say it was this website that did it for me but I have only been reading about a year but what did help me to get over my hang ups was College. It seemed like people in College had a much more mature attitude towards masturbation and sexuality in general, by the time I was done with Mental Growth and Development, Psychology, Biology and most of all Human Sexuality I was convinced that masturbation was almost as normal for human beings as breathing. I am now able to admit that yes I masturbate and I am not embarrassed.