Fucking a Football

I have found that the 'dollar store' type of Nerf football (not that brand, though) is actually hollow in the center.
If you can find a cheap one that's very squeezy in the center, buy it. It's probably hollow in the center and will make an excellent pussy.
Cut one end off... being careful not to cut too much off. The cut will expose the hole. Start with a little cut, say... an inch or so. If that doesn't expose the hole, cut a little more off. The hole should be around 1/2 inch in diameter, but will expand. We want it to be tight!
Measure 2 inches or so below the cut and make a 1/4 inch score all the way around the football.
Now take a surgical glove and poke the fingers and thumb into the hole. Put the rubber band rim of the glove into the 1/4 inch score.
Squirt your favorite lube into the glove and give it hell! If you cut it right, it will be very tight around the base of youe penis.
Cleanup is a breeze! Pull the glove out and throw it away. Don't re-use the gloves though, they can make your dick sick.