My Awakening

Seventh grade was when I began to realize the joys of my own body. A little late, perhaps, but I was somewhat behind my peers in all aspects of development, so I think the timing was quite right.

One day over winter break, I spent the night with five other girls at our friend Beth's house, a very large house with a lot of privacy and nice commodities. We goofed around in the snow outside until it got dark. We ate dinner and watched some TV, but TV always gets boring, especially in situations with six chatty, energetic preteen girls. We decided to play games around the house. Hide and seek was the obvious choice. I don't remember specifics, like where I hid and who was found first and last, but the game ended in her dad's office, with us lounging in the chairs with wheels, which we later used to race each other all around the first floor, straining our muscles so as not to fall off the flying seats.

After a few minutes of this play, we were all tired and sore from the day's events, so someone suggested a system of massages. Three girls would lie on their stomachs in the living room floor, while the other three would straddle the backs of the first three and massage them for ten or fifteen minutes. Then, switch positions.

I was one of the first lying down, and someone climbed on top of me and began to massage. It was nice; I had never really had a massage before. A minute or two in, one of the massagers suggested we remove our shirts to make their jobs easier. Sure, okay. Shirts off. It was a small thrill, simply because it felt a little risky, and I'd never done anything like it before. Some more time passed, and then it was time to rotate. I guess it was easier to leave our shirts off, because that's what we did as we mounted the three other (now also topless) girls and began to massage them. I was in the middle of the line-up, straddling my gorgeous friend Beth. I'd never really thought about being attracted to her before, but within a minute of caressing her soft, exposed skin, I began to sense what I could only assume was the 'sexual arousal' I'd read about in books. I didn't really know what was happening; I just knew I found myself aching to push my spread legs into her butt and hips below me . . . to lie down on top of her and hold her close and enjoy this heated sensation between us. My chest felt warm and my breathing increased. I made no comments - just continued to massage her, trying to make it as enjoyable for her as I could in this distracted state of mind.

Nothing more came of the massages. Once we had all had our turns, someone said, 'Hey, Beth, don't you have a hot tub upstairs?' Of course. Of course. We clambered up the stairs and into her bedroom. 'Oh, but I don't have a bathing suit.' 'Neither do I.' 'Neither do I.' Beth said she might have one extra, but that still left four girls without. We decided it would be most fair for us all just to throw on boxers and tank tops - forget bathing suits. We ran into separate rooms to change, and reassembled soon in the room with this huuuge hot tub. It probably sat eight or ten people. Beth started the heaters and the jets, and we all stepped inside.

I think I must have been slightly turned on from the beginning of the massages. All I know is that quickly after having entered the hot tub, all six of us fairly quiet, I found my hand instinctually slipping inside the loose leg of the boxers under the bubbly water. I didn't know anything about masturbation aside from the fact that people did it, but I enjoyed just exploring the new feelings of my fingers on my slippery vagina in the warm water . . . and how exciting (and naughty!) that my five friends sat around me! I imagine there's no way I could have been the only one indulging myself. Everyone slouched down in the seats, and made quiet small talk with closed eyes for about half an hour.

It would be two years before I'd figure out how to masturbate to orgasm, but I treasure the memory of this night as my sexual awakening. Nothing happened later that night (except for sleep), but my interest in Beth certainly did not end . . .