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Christian College

In the 60s and 70s, I attended two Christian colleges. For the first three years, masturbation was a big secret. Once a month, my roommate was gone for the weekend, and the freedom to masturbate was fun. But then the guilt associated with the corrupt religious teachings in which I was raised would rear its head and lead me into depression. Being raised in a strict fundatmentalist church, masturbation was a giving in to sin, human weakness, and mental instablity.

But then in my final year, I roomed with a new friend who for a fundamentalist 'openly' masturbated. We had old, steel-spring bunk beds. Every move was turned into a squeak and a vibration. The first night together, I heard a noise I thought only I made. (I REALLY believed in a school of 500 males I was the only one.) I slid my shorts down and started joining in. I could hear him stop and listen for my motions. I would then stop and listen for his noise-a sexual version of dueling banjos. We did that all year each night.

I was on the top bunk, so my friend had a big advantage as he could see the springs above his face move. I also lived in fear as the closeness I felt with him made me want to move down and join him on the bottom bunk, but I remembered the story of two guys who were expelled for getting caught sharing the same bed.

As we were afraid to talk about this, the sexual tension led to blow ups between us over little things, as we both were not able to deal with being a Christian and masturbation. After graduation, we met and talked about our senior year and those nights, and we felt like close friends again. I only wish there would have been a site like this back then to clear the air and help do away with the false guilt and associated panic.

I remember him hinting about masturbating together but then quickly withdrawing the offer in fear. I was too afraid to push the issue. I wish I knew where he is today so I could take him up on that offer of 35 years ago. Last I heard, he was married and a Christian preacher. At times I still masturbate remembering the sounds of him 'squeaking the springs!'


Posted on: 2005-09-26 00:00:00 | Author: