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Response to Frustration

Dear Brittany:

IT'S OKAY!!

Sex is natural, it's beautiful, it's healthy, and so are you.

Orgasm is an emotional experience. You need to just relax first. And it really helps of you know yourself a little, which takes time and patience and love.

Breathe and feel. Take a bath. After you come out of the bath, dry off and go to a warm, private place. Take an ordinary makeup mirror, or one with lights, and explore yourself gently with your fingers. Get familiar with that world: with how you look, with your textures, and how you smell and taste.

You'll notice different layers of lips. Spread them with your fingers, and look. Feel how soft and beautiful you are. Perhaps dip your fingers in some warm oil.

Toward the front of your vulva, centered, you will notice a place that is like a little bulb. Feel for it, with your fingers and your emotions. This is your clitoris.

If you go to http://www.bettydodson.com/ you will find lots of information about female masturbation. She has a book called Sex For One which tells you everything you need to know to get started and also has a good diagram. If we find one online we'll post it with this story.

There is a video sold on Betty's site. It is called Selfloving: Portrait of Women's Sexuality Workshop (or something close to that). It is a one-hour video of exploring their genitals and masturbating. You will see that they use vibrators, which are easy to get.

But to repeat what we said earlier, erotic pleasure and orgasm are emotional, vulnerable experiences. You need to really relax and feel and have as few expectations as possible. If you practice clenching and unclenching your vulva, you may notice some pleasant sensations. You can follow them to much deeper pleasure.

Love,

Asis + Ami

PS, if you ask an older woman friend you trust for some guidance, maybe she'll show you around.


Posted on: 2003-01-29 00:00:00 | Author: