Masterbation History of a Young Lad

My Masterbation history was a long one. It all started like this. Once I was in my father's pantry when my mother had died, there I found, up on a shelf while I was looking for my toy gun, a few condoms. Quickly I stole one and immediately put it on my penis. At this time I did not know much about sex and stuff but I knew what this was. I just stared at my erect cock and started stroking it while sitting on the toilet. I had some emotions run through me and I began to masterbate slowly. All that came was pre-cum and I thought that was cum! I then treasured the thought I was mature enough to cum! It excited me! Then when reading a book under my dad's bed about masterbation exercises I realised that was't cum! It wasn't white. Then I thought what was wrong with me?! Every night I would get out that book and have an orgasm but I would never cum! Finally I went on a cruise and while rooming with my step-sister(She had plain view of me but wasn't paying attention because she was reading) I started missionary style humping the bed. Slowly I increased my pace until finally I came for the first time! I couldn't believe it! I was stunned and overcome with guilt. I realised that this was against my religion and I couldn't do it. I felt bad for a while and before I knew it I couldn't get away from it! It let me drain my problems out in that fluid. I used to dream about this until now.

Before, when I masterbated I used to see while I was in the shower if I could suck my own dick! After about a year I could finally do it, but had severe back problems and couldn't do it anymore. I used to lie day after day trying to abstain from it because it was considered 'sinful'. My bishop told me it was a sin close to murder! This really stuck with me until I realised the healing powers of masterbation considering I needed to stay a virgin until marriage! Anyway, needless to say I finally quit quitting and embraced the healing power masterbation held and gave in to it's wonderful feelings that came with it. I didn't need any pictures or sound, I just humped my sheets or lathered my shaft and humped until I cummed on a rag. Masterbation is a great quality in my life and releases stress. Now I freely speak of it while in public. It may be embarrassing but EVERYONE DOES IT! and it is a subject no one talks about!