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Not Just Curiosity

Lots of the girls who write for this site seem to get turned on by looking at pictures of other girls even though they say they aren't lesbians. I had a hard time there for a while figuring out what I was. When I was 12 and 13 I was very, very interested in Penthouse and Playboy magazines that my friends or friends parents had (my family was very strict and nothing like that ever got into the house). I would look at the pictures of the girls for as long as I could. I told myself that I was just curious since my breasts had only just started to develop. They never did get very big and later on I liked to think that my interest in the models big breasts was just wishing I had breasts like theirs. Finally I did have to face the fact that I wasn't just curious. I would look at their bodies, especially the ones with big round breasts, and my pussy would throb. Sometimes I would rub my clitoris fast and hard when I had a chance to look at the magazines alone so that I could come before anyone interrupted me and I had intense orgasms.

So I did get turned on by girls. But I was attracted to boys and so the girl stuff seemed mostly to be just in my head. One time a family visited us and there weren't enough beds so they put me and a girl about my age into the same double bed. I had shared beds with friends lots of times and didn't think anything about it but this girl started stroking my arm and then my body and I realized that she was interested in sex. I got completely disgusted and told her to lay off. I know I hurt her feelings but I wasn't attracted to her at all. But another time, with a different girl, was completely different. I had one friend who had developed very fast and I thought she was sexy. We shared a bed on a sleepover and this time it was my turn to be the one making the moves. She was surprised but she went along. I loved feeling her up. We didn't go further than that but the next night I thought about her and came very fast. I still think about her, in fact, during sex. I did this only one other time, when I was 19 and stayed on campus with a girl visiting from another school. She got pretty drunk and I guess I took advantage of her. She had just the kind of breasts that made me short of breath and I started messing around with her and she was too far gone to notice or care. I had my hand in my panties bringing myself to an orgasm while I licked her nipples. I was extremely turned on but she just fell asleep. Afterward I didn't feel good about what I had done.

I haven't had sex with a girl since then and I'm married, so by now its clear that I'm straight. But a few months ago my husband bought a Penthouse and brought it home and we read some of the stories together and got all turned on. He keeps it around and I look at it when I want to get ready for sex. I don't show him the pages that I look at the most, which of course are the pictures of the beautiful girls with the big breasts. That's my little secret. He gets the benefit though.


Posted on: 2002-12-28 00:00:00 | Author: