Courtesy
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- Site Admin
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Mon Apr 07, 2014 4:14 pm
Courtesy
It occurs to me that some people are perhaps nervous about chatting to others. It is also likely that once they have begun a conversation they feel that things are not going quite to plan. The easiest thing to do is nothing. Say nothing. Do nothing. But where does that leave the person at the other end of the line? Don't clam up - tell them. Tell them it's not working. I'm sure I'm not alone in preferring to be told rather than sitting in silence wondering.
So have fun chatting (and jacking and jilling 'cos it does work alot of the time!) and remember: if it's not working - Let Them Know!
So have fun chatting (and jacking and jilling 'cos it does work alot of the time!) and remember: if it's not working - Let Them Know!
Re: Courtesy
Also - I know proper etiquette is to ask a person BEFORE engaging them is private chat, so why doesn't anyone do that?
Personally it doesn't bother me, I will chat with ANYone if they PVT me. But if it is a suggested rule, why don't people follow it? Had a person pvt me, and then scold me because I couldn't stay long and help them get off.
Why is YOUR pleasure MY responsibility? When did that change?
And if you are gonna have the audacity to just leave, like the OP says, at least say so.
Personally it doesn't bother me, I will chat with ANYone if they PVT me. But if it is a suggested rule, why don't people follow it? Had a person pvt me, and then scold me because I couldn't stay long and help them get off.
Why is YOUR pleasure MY responsibility? When did that change?
And if you are gonna have the audacity to just leave, like the OP says, at least say so.
Re: Courtesy
From my experience it seems that a lot of the time the assumption is that if you are in a chat room you must be masturbating or looking to do it ASAP whereas in fact a person is often there just for some social interaction. This is especially true of the Lounge. Now if I was in the Bedroom or a privately made room I could understand why someone might make a direct approach and would have no problem with it.
My other pet peeve is the dreaded A/S/L? Is it really too much to ask that you check a profile before you ask that? I realise some profiles don't give much information but that's probably intentional. Just take the time to look ok?
As for the 'no PM without asking'.....I have to admit I don't always stick to that (at least when talking to other guys) which is extremely hypocritical of me since I suggested that announcement to Billie in the first place.
I know I shouldn't do it................sorry guys...
My other pet peeve is the dreaded A/S/L? Is it really too much to ask that you check a profile before you ask that? I realise some profiles don't give much information but that's probably intentional. Just take the time to look ok?
As for the 'no PM without asking'.....I have to admit I don't always stick to that (at least when talking to other guys) which is extremely hypocritical of me since I suggested that announcement to Billie in the first place.
![Embarrassed :oops:](./images/smilies/icon_redface.gif)
![Embarrassed :oops:](./images/smilies/icon_redface.gif)
I know I shouldn't do it................sorry guys...
Re: Courtesy
I can understand that MW, but short of hiding one's online status there really is no way to prevent people from engaging you in pvt chat. Of course, I will always take time for anyone who initiates any type of chat with me, including you, and will generally state if I can stay long or not. It is easy to do, and generally most people are very understanding.
One of the ASL problems is, that it is difficult to check someone's profile while in pvt chat. Clicking on a username there will not yield the desired result. It links to a generic account created in 1969. Works OK in the lounge though.
I would report a bug, but that generally only results an an acknowledgement post.
For example, a relatively easy fix is available for the 'featured members friends count'. States I have 39 friends...
I actually have over 120...
One of the ASL problems is, that it is difficult to check someone's profile while in pvt chat. Clicking on a username there will not yield the desired result. It links to a generic account created in 1969. Works OK in the lounge though.
I would report a bug, but that generally only results an an acknowledgement post.
For example, a relatively easy fix is available for the 'featured members friends count'. States I have 39 friends...
I actually have over 120...
Re: Courtesy
I agree Marcus1691. If someone can't/doesn't want to continue a conversation, a simple "gotta go now" or something like that will do. For me, an explanation why someone can't or doesn't want to continue the conversation isn't necessary. It's definitely much better than either saying nothing or just abruptly going offline.
The one exception I make to this is if someone starts a private chat with me without asking if it's OK first. The rules clearly state that permission should be asked first. in this case, I don't feel the need to respond if I don't wish to chat privately.
The one exception I make to this is if someone starts a private chat with me without asking if it's OK first. The rules clearly state that permission should be asked first. in this case, I don't feel the need to respond if I don't wish to chat privately.
Re: Courtesy
"As for the 'no PM without asking . . . "
I may be missing something here (or maybe I'm just plain stoopid!) but how do you "ask" if you're not allowed to PM them in the first place?![Confused :?](./images/smilies/icon_e_confused.gif)
I may be missing something here (or maybe I'm just plain stoopid!) but how do you "ask" if you're not allowed to PM them in the first place?
![Confused :?](./images/smilies/icon_e_confused.gif)
Re: Courtesy
Ask in the main room 'hey **** is it ok to PM?' Some profiles (like mine) already say it's ok to PM at any time
Re: Courtesy
Bex , there is a setting in profiles which allows the person to only get messages from friends. I think a lot of people may not realise it's there and therefor don't change it to allow pm's from everyone.
Re: Courtesy
its also to do if you are in say the girls only or lounge and a GUY comes in and clicks on your name it still gives you the option to open a private chat, so might need to remove that or somthing but i will do my best to ban any male member that comes in to GIRLS ONLY room.
Re: Courtesy
Yes, I see your point Bexx. I'm not sure if checking the box 'only receive mail from friends' affects your PM's or not. I will bring it up with Billie next time I see her. Lottie, I understand your frustration but don't see that there is much more I can do as a chat mod other than kicking any men I find in the girls only room if you havent already done it !! Something else I will bring up with Billie.
Re: Courtesy
Well, it looks like Lottie;s 'men in the girls room' has been solved and Billie tells me that changes have been made to the PM system so hopefully your issue has been addressed too Bexx
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- Site Admin
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- Joined: Fri Oct 17, 2014 5:34 pm
Re: Courtesy
If you don't wanna chat, erm, just ignore them? Or is that too simple? If someone is online and I send a chat msg, if they don't repo they don't wanna chat. Simples. Eek..
Re: Courtesy
Of course it is courtesy, to ask in a room before messaging somebody, but they should also have have the courtesy to say "No thank you" and not ignore you. When I go to the chat rooms they are empty, does anybody use them? ![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
![Rolling Eyes :roll:](./images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif)
Re: Courtesy
Well in that case, what about if I do not see the PVT request?
Many times I am logged in to check many other multitude of things and sometimes do not visit the chat section.
One should not assume since my online status shows I am there that I am actively engaging in chat...
It might look in that case like I am ignoring a request.
Since there is no actual way to tell if someone is active in chat either reading comments or in PVT with someone else, please don't assume that someone is actively ignoring you, They could just be busy doing something else.
But I agree, unless otherwise specified somewhere, that it is common courtesy to ask a member before firing off PVT messages at them.
I do wish there was a better way for this, and I can only pray that Admin reads this forum, because having been to other chat sites, this one has a serious lack of features. For example - A basic indicator such as a color change of a persons chat icon could indicate they are engaged with another member in PVT chat, or could suggest some other convention that they are either available or not.
Simple things like this can go a long way, as well as simple common courtesy.
Many times I am logged in to check many other multitude of things and sometimes do not visit the chat section.
One should not assume since my online status shows I am there that I am actively engaging in chat...
It might look in that case like I am ignoring a request.
Since there is no actual way to tell if someone is active in chat either reading comments or in PVT with someone else, please don't assume that someone is actively ignoring you, They could just be busy doing something else.
But I agree, unless otherwise specified somewhere, that it is common courtesy to ask a member before firing off PVT messages at them.
I do wish there was a better way for this, and I can only pray that Admin reads this forum, because having been to other chat sites, this one has a serious lack of features. For example - A basic indicator such as a color change of a persons chat icon could indicate they are engaged with another member in PVT chat, or could suggest some other convention that they are either available or not.
Simple things like this can go a long way, as well as simple common courtesy.
Re: Courtesy
Why is YOUR pleasure MY responsibility? When did that change?
And if you are gonna have the audacity to just leave, like the OP says, at least say so.
And if you are gonna have the audacity to just leave, like the OP says, at least say so.