My wife and I are both 58 and have been married for 36 years. We have raised two wonderful sons; both have successful careers and all in all life is good, in fact very good.
Our biggest area of stress has been our very disparate sexual appetites. My wife seems quite content with making love a couple of times a month. When we do it she is fully engaged and we have quite a good time, but three times a week would be much more my speed. So, after years of conflict over this, I have openly taken matters into my own hands and the result is really very comfortable for both of us.
I have masturbated at least five times a week for at least the last 45 years. As a young teenager I remember sessions in the upstairs bathroom by friction on a few rolled up towels and a clothing catalogue or geographic magazine. I was sent off to an all boys' prep school at age thirteen. Masturbation was a daily challenge to find times when my roommate would not be present. We could not 'date' or leave campus on weekends unless we went home a few times a semester so our female companionship consisted of dances with other girl's schools. Unless we had made prior arrangements, we were matched up with a girl by height and being only about 5'2', this was often a challenge.
Then in the summer after my sophomore year everything changed. I met a girl at an inter city dance sponsored by a religious group. I boldly (for me anyway) walked up to this very pretty girl named Beth wearing a pink shirtwaist dress that showed off her great breasts, and asked her to dance. She accepted and we got to know each other. It turned out that she too was home from prep school and that her school was one with which my school had frequent dances, in fact the schools were only seven miles apart.
My junior year was a delight as Beth and I had a 'date' with each other at all the dances between our schools and as our relationship grew closer so did the urgency to find dark corners of the building or places outside where a lot of panting, fondling, and an occasional hand induced orgasm would ensue.
During Christmas vacation that year, we were at my house making out and she actually unhooked her bra for me to allow me to fondle her bare breasts. That offer of intimacy, and the many furtive hand jobs that followed defined my sex for the next year.
Fast forward to our marriage immediately after college graduation, I was in the Navy and stationed in Washington DC. We went away to the beach with some new friends, also young marrieds, who we had made in our apartment complex. Somehow we all wound up naked skinny dipping in the motel pool late at night. It was pretty innocent and non-sexual, but for years thereafter I have fantasized to the image of my young wife and her friend showering naked together after our dip in the pool. For years I masturbated to the many fantasy variations of that shower imagining 'accidental' touching, breasts rubbing together in the small shower stall, or in my wilder moments, my wife crouching down, spreading her friends labia and fingering her pussy to orgasm.
Many years later while on vacation at a nude beach in Jamaica we had spent the day on the beach with a woman called Andrea, who worked as a secretary in NY. She was pretty, sassy and had small pear shaped breasts, a small tight butt and a full black bush. My wife has a very ample bosom and an hourglass figure that contrasted with Andrea's more boyish figure. When my wife and I went back to the room and were fooling around, I began to surreptitiously fondle my penis while telling my wife how much I would love to make love to her while Andrea played with her pussy. We talked through the fantasy and came to shuddering orgasms without ever touching each other or even openly masturbating.
Later, my wife went to Andrea's room to see if she wanted to join us to play, but alas she was not in her room and the moment passed. However, this fantasy and multiple variations have fuelled more solo orgasms than I can count.
During the next ten years or so we would often watch erotic films together and my wife would seem to be particularly responsive to girl/girl scenes or threesomes with two girls. We would watch, I would play with her very wet pussy, and describe how I would love to watch her be brought to orgasm by another girl or have a girl suckling her breasts while I fingered her. She would always reach shuddering orgasms brought on by my finger and my voice and then she would demand that I finish her off.
A number of drought years ensued as health challenges and professional pressures brought our sex life to a new low. I masturbated almost exclusively as a sexual outlet without either of us ever acknowledging the practice. I thought she just stopped being interested. Then one day I asked her if we could talk frankly about things and we sat in the family room and talked. She told me she masturbated only very infrequently, that she knew I did and it was fine. That night I threw off the covers and started to stroke myself quite openly and asked her to simply be present. She turned to me and held her hand on my thigh and just looked at me. I came explosively, and she gave me a kiss, rolled over and went to sleep. I still take the opportunity to masturbate in her presence, asking occasionally if she will join in the 'fondling' which she does with apparent pleasure. At these times she will play with my balls and stroke my perineal area and ass gently but without anal insertion (which I would love). We jointly bring me to orgasm.
I have still never 'caught' my wife masturbating on her own initiative, but our sexual encounters almost always include some form of masturbation on her part. My wife loves long and slow clitoral stimulation. Once she is well lubricated through manual stimulation, I will often scootch down in the bed, place a pillow under her hips to enjoy the smell of her pussy. Then I will stop direct stimulation, nuzzling and licking her inner thighs and she will then finger herself unabashedly until she begins to come. I watch her masturbate from six inches away. Sometimes I simply sit back and watch her in the throes of passion with the wonderful wet sounds of her finger in her pussy, her ample chest and hips heaving. I will often make myself come just watching this display of joyful sexual abandon.
I still haven't found her masturbating totally without any prior stimulation from me, but there is no more beautiful and sexually rewarding sight than to watch her take control of her own pleasure.