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Where Haven't I Masturbated?

Posted by: Author: Age: 41 Posted on: 0 comments
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This is a long list, have I left anything out?


After reading another story here, I decided I'd list all of the places I've masturbated over the years:

In Bed, office chair, living room couch, kitchen, office, storage room, laundry room, garage, attic, basement, every single bedroom, every single bathroom, at least 11 different cars (day and night), back yard, front yard at night, pool, Jacuzzi, hotel, cruise ship pool, cruise ship deck chaise, airplane seat (International flight at night), airplane head (only twice), yacht deck in full daylight, at work bathroom, in warehouse, in work cubicle after hours, in work parking lot (pitch black night) after hours before entering car (came in parking space, visible next morning!), train head, train private coach, college restroom, college dorm, college chem-lab, gas station bathroom. Oh, and every single morning in the shower, almost forgot the obvious!

I think that's the extent of it. I've sure cum a lot of different ways:

Banana peel, carved out cucumber, homemade venus like device, shopvac, sandwich bag in sock, kids balloons, melon (messy but nice...probably about a dozen different times), between the mattresses, pillow humping, my hand, auto-fellatio in my earlier years (yes, was fun!), various retail 'penis masturbator' type toys, probably hundreds of homemade 'penis masturbator' toys...some rather nice!), every imaginable type of vibrator, against the washing machine, orbital sander, with no sandpaper!!!, various compressed air tools, VERY wide neck plastic bottles (very hard to find), various tubes, section of pipe insulation (nice with hand lotion!), section of pool/Jacuzzi hose. Jacuzzi jets, shower massage, pool filler holes (one pool in particular had a very large filler hole about two feet below the surface!!! I like that pool!). But by far my very favourite way to be wanked is by my wife. She has an awesome right hand. Which typically happens about once a week.

My least favourite? Probably my hand with no lube. Big Jim doesn't produce precum.



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