This site has really been an eye-opener for me since I discovered it by checking out the history on the computer after my 17 year old son had been using it. I don't generally make it a practice to spy on my son, but a mother really does need to keep track of what her kids are into these days. Initially, I was rather shocked to discover the number of stories on this site in which young boys have a fantasy about letting their mother 'accidentally' catch them masturbating, and even more surprised to discover stories in which their mothers 'instruct' their sons by jacking them off. As a mother myself, I would never, ever engage in this type of behavior with my son, and am frankly disturbed that any mother would.
But knowing that boys do fantasize about this type of thing does explain a few things. I guess I had thought that since boys that age are often embarrassed about being seen with their mothers in public, the last person they would fantasize about was their mother. But having read the stories on this site, I am beginning to suspect that my son is going through the same phase, and it is beginning to seem as if he is purposefully setting up situations where I might catch him masturbating. So far, I've never caught him red-handed. But that's not to say that I've never seen him masturbating; quite the contrary, I have watched him masturbating by the pool on any number of occasions when he thinks he is unobserved.
The first time this happened was last summer. I had come home early from shopping, and went upstairs to change into something cooler before carrying in the groceries. I happened to glance out the second-story window at the pool area below, and I saw my son standing there stark naked with a full-blown erection, jacking himself off in plain sight. There is a very high fence around the pool, so there is no way a neighbor could see in, so I thought he had just taken advantage of the situation to go nude, got aroused, and just decided to take care of himself in the ways that boys do. No big deal, I thought, boys do it all the time. I suppose I shouldn't have watched, but despite myself, I was fascinated, and I was sure I couldn't be seen as the sun was shining directly in the window where I was standing. And, I told myself, I needed to know when he was done and had put his swimming suit back on, so I could announce that I was home. In a short time, he shot his load into one of the big planters around the pool and began putting on his suit. I pretended I had seen nothing and didn't notice that he was a bit flushed when he came in.
I thought this would be an isolated incident, as it was a pretty close call, and he must have known that he almost got caught. But he has continued to set up high-risk situations where I might catch him masturbating, so that I have begun to think this is what he really wants. There have been many occasions that I have seen him masturbating poolside that he must wonder how in the heck I am not catching him by accident, when the truth is that I am giving him all the time he needs out there. I am ashamed to say that I watch him almost every chance I get, and am truly amazed and fascinated at how powerful his ejaculations are. Could he know I am watching? Not a chance, I am far too discreet for that. And it would mean that he has gotten his way if he knows I have seen, which would, I feel, not be the right thing to do.
I also know now that he is checking out my boobs and my ass when I'm wearing my swimming suit. It makes me terribly self-conscious when we are out by the pool together, but I somehow manage to keep from letting him know this. Perhaps I should tell him to stop this behavior, but he really isn't that obvious about it, plus, it would be a form of acknowledgment. I guess I am sort of wimping out when it comes to confronting him about this, but then I guess it's in my nature not to be confrontational. So, when he begins to get an erection from watching me, I excuse myself and go into the house to give him time to settle down, though more often than not, he takes the opportunity to jerk himself off into one of the planters.
I also believe he may also be discreetly masturbating while in the same room with me. I was washing clothes the other day and noticed that one of his fleeces is missing the pocket on the left hand side, and that the inside of the fleece was covered in a dried substance that I later determined was his cum. This is his favorite fleece to wear when sitting at the computer, and now I know why. I am positive that he is sitting there, his erection sticking out of his zipper but covered by the fleece, wanking himself while I am sitting in the same room watching TV, my back turned to him. And if I get up and pass by, he simply stops jerking off for a moment and looks innocent, and pretends to move the mouse around with his right hand. I can't help but wonder now how many times as I've stood behind him to see something on the computer, one hand on his shoulder, or even absently stroking the nape of his neck, that he has had hard-on and may have even been discreetly jacking himself off.
So I wonder if masturbation is becoming an obsession with him. He has started jacking off poolside again this summer, and I noticed that his balls and cock are totally shaved smooth. This is something that porn stars do, I gather from the videos that he watches on the computer. Again, I know this by looking at the computer history, and I now realize that he intentionally does not erase his tracks so that I will catch him. Some of the stuff is pretty hot stuff and I have even masturbated to it when I am absolutely, positively sure that I will not be caught (such as when he is at a friend's house overnight and all the doors are locked), but I wonder what type of sexual image he is forming of women by watching these videos.
Can anyone tell me if I should be worried about my son? Is he addicted to masturbation? Is he truly fixated on me, or am I reading too much into the situation? How can I go about confronting him without making things worse? Other than this one issue, my son is a great kid, and we are each other's best friends (I am divorced).