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Vagina Simulator

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This is the mother of all techniques. First you get a place mat like the ones you use at fancy dinner party. Fold it in half and then half again, hot dog style. Then get a rubber glove like the ones doctors use. Put your favorite lube in it and smir it around. The put the rubber glove at the end of one side of the place matt. Roll the place matt around the glove until the place matt is all rolled up. Then put a rubber band around the place matt. Then put it between a mattress and box spring or another likewise piece of furniture. Just begin pumping away. It feels so good that I can never last too long.

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