Urgent Need

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I'm currently celibate for reasons having to do with clearing my mind and simplifying my life--not in any position to have a sexual involvement.
I've long believed that my need is equal or greater to that of the average man.
I generally begin by rubbing through clothes--then rub hard under clothes. Three fingers in an up-and-down or cicular motion are best for quick relief.
If I need more than one orgasm, I'll use a vibrator and have some electronic quickies, then finish off with rubbing for real relief.
I have trouble reaching orgasm in the morning. Sometimes I wake with a hot ache between my legs, and rubbing will not get me off, but the vibrator will. I always have to have the final come by hand for real satisfaction, though.
I've been getting myself off since age 13. I feel that relying on myself for pure release makes me clear-headed.
I won't use another person just for pleasure. I'll only enter a physical relationship with someone whom I care about and love as a human being. For relief, I have my own hands.
I've used dildos, but they don't hit the right place. My fingers can get that place inside, and then I usually come several times.
I've never been able to go more than a few days without an orgasm. I've resorted to doing it in the shower when on vacations or camping trips with other people. When the need is that intense, it only takes a minute or two.
Sometimes needing an orgasm is not just an itch. Sometimes I feel that I really, really need sex. I take care of the itch on its own terms, and then I remember that what I crave is connection. So I indulge in conversations and hugs and all the things that make platonic friendships rich and good.
When I am again ready for a sexual involvement, I think I will approach it with health and wholeness.



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