I posted a story several months ago about modifying an old cushion into a sex-toy. This is an experience I'm not so proud of. I think I was about 25 at the time.
Let's get it straight: I only did this once. I hadn't planned to. I'd taken a roast from the refrigerator and was preparing it to go in the oven when I got the idea. What can I say, I often thought of different things to try to copulate with. I guess it was just the texture or something.
A couple of slices with the knife and there was a slit right down the center of it. I was out of my pants and on the floor on my side, and pushing my semi-hard penis into the roast. Although cold, it felt great. I quickly hardened up and began slowly pumping in and out of the piece of meat.
Aesthetics aside, I was amazed how good it felt. It didn't take long before I was really excited and had rolled face down and was clutching the roast in my hands underneath me, my shoulders and face pressed into the tiles, frantically thrusting into it from above.
Barely a minute went by after that and I had an intense orgasm with my erection buried to my belly inside the roast.