The Pleasures of Carrots

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The Pleasures of Carrots

Here I am at 50 years of age and have just discovered the pleasures of the carrot. I have been a masturbator since about 13 years of age - compared with many contributors, I must have been a late starter. I have enjoyed most of the techniques shared in these pages but the carrot has new depths, new sensations.

Consider that you can innocently go into the supermarket and casually run your eye over the displayed carrots. Looking for a 'tool' to suit your moods and needs. Other shoppers wander past collecting turnips, potatoes and onions as your deliciously erotic plan plays through your mind. I have actually gone to the shops with a petite instrument inserted.

A large blunt-ended tuber can be chewed into all sorts of pleasurable shapes before insertion. Small, petite nibbles, trial insertion, more nibbling and wow. Then there is the baby carrot, intimately thin for rapid forays into nether regions. There is the double pointer, those misbegotten growths that probably inspired the tickler.

The large blunt machines can benefit from a short period in boiling water. Be careful here. Only 2 minutes for an inch diameter plant, then allow the vegetable to cool sufficient for insertion. It will radiate body heat that replicates, nay replaces real body parts.

I say to the world, go forth into the vegetable plot and plant row upon row of carrots. But for the thoughtful reader - a challenge, to come up with a more erotic, less down to earth name for this magnificently useful vegetable. I would love to hear suggestions from those who share my passion for this plant, sent to seebee49 at yahoo. --Chris



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