Background: My father died when I was 8. My brother and myself were raised my our mother. There were a lot of family friends-most were women. Some of the conversation between women was making fun of guys. My cousin would take advantage of me which made me feel ashamed about being male.
I recall: when I was about 9 my mother giving my brother & me a bath and making sure we knew how to wash under our foreskin. She was in the tub with us. When she showed me, I got an erection and she made me feel bad because it happened.
The first time: Between my eleventh and twelve birthdays I started to develop-my penis and balls started to grow. One day after a shower, I noticed the head peeking out of the foreskin and in fact the foreskin retracted when I was erect. I did not want to look different, so that I would not be teased my family or have anyone say I was changing down there. That evening in bed I started to stretch my foreskin in an effort to hide the tip, keep it from being exposed. In the process, after awhile, it felt kind of good the way I was stretching it. The feelings intensified. All of a sudden my penis erupted with a warm mass of thick fluid. Thinking: 'oh what have I done' Praying 'God, please, please let me be ok-I will never do this again'. I had no clue what it was-my mom gave me a 'Bird-n-Bee' talk when I was about 9. She said something about a man planting little seeds-I had no clue what she was trying to say and now thinking back she was not prepared to talk to a boy about such stuff-in fact it may have been the story my grandmother told her. Well, eventually I got the picture about the 'Bird-n-Bees' from other guys, books and sex education in junior/senior high school.
After my first ejaculation, I did not do that again for the rest of the week. Shortly afterwards, I recalled the intense feels and one night repeated the procedure-with the same thoughts and the same payer to God. This happen on a regular basis and eventually I became a daily addict to jacking off. But, did it mainly in the bathroom when I was alone where I could focus on playing with my penis & testicles.
Conclusion: Men should talk to boys about sex and such stuff. Men should be a roll model for boys. Men should say to boys it is OK, and you need not feel ashamed about being male. I have never or will never make anyone feel ashamed about themselves.
Wonder if any others have had similar experiences?