The Fantasies Do It!
I am 18 years old and i have been with the same boyfriend for two years. Our sex is okay, except when it slows down in the winter. During the winter i would go days, sometimes weeks wanting to feel him inside me- well not anymore. I used to masturbate when i was younger but then stopped as i hit adolescence (damn the shame issue we were all told). When i was younger i would rub my crotch against pillows. This usually happened after being awakened from a sexy dream.
Then, before i got my period, i wanted to practice using tampons. Little did i know that moving the tampon up and down, and inserting it creates a great sensation. A few months ago I was reading the potpourri that people had sent in for this site when i started getting tingly. I masturbated using my fingers while i read the messages and fantasized about performing the technique or watching the female writer do it to herself. Although i didn't "finish" off this, i realized that fantasy has a lot to do with cumming or not.
For anyone who has never cum or "thinks" they have cum i suggest that you read Nancy Fridays book My Secret Garden. This is a revolutionary book/study on female fantasies. It includes the authors discussion and hundreds of fantasies told by the women who are having them. I have only been reading the book for a day and a half. Within the first chapter i had my FIRST orgasm. (nothing like the "orgasms" i thought i had been having with my boyfriend). I used my small vibrator as a vagina plug, vibrating fast to create the feelings inside my walls. Then i began to read about an event that happened to one of the interviewees fantasizing that it was me in her position. Me and a friend of mine who may have bisex tendencies were working out at the gym. Afterward we go into a sauna bath, wearing only our towels. As we start warming up, my friend lays out on her back and removes her towel. She touches her perky breasts and begins to talk very sexy to me. By this time in the fantasy, i am on my back, knees pulled slightly to my chest ( or bent) moving the vibrator in and out, making sure that the lower area of my palm is pounding my mound, just above the clit.
Next thing i knew i was having sensations and quivvers that i have never before experienced. I wish i could enlighten my boyfriend on my new discoveries, but i think i'll wait until i am a pro. Also, if you are thinking about buying a dildo or vibe, start small. I made the mistake of buying a large vibrator that didn't really work for me....that is until i started using it in my ass. That feels really good too, just don't forget the lubrication: Vaseline or water soluble lube will work fine ( no Vaseline in the crotch though- you might end up in an itchy situation). Don''t be ashamed, read the book, and explore ALL parts of your body. Even if you don't cum, practice makes perfect!! For anyone: Is using cucumbers inside you safe? --Amy