I visited Claire again today, as I have each day since her funeral. Today, it is almost like spring here. It is mild and warm. It is strange to think how so little separates us. I place her flowers in the usual way and I sit looking at her picture embedded into the headstone. It is as if my soul is suddenly filled with warmth and it is summer again. I hear her voice and her silvery laugh and I reach out with my hand to stroke her cheek. I feel warm, alive and totally consumed with love for her.
I think back to her funeral, how aroused I became and how I almost orgasmed and how badly I felt about it. I know now that Claire would have loved it. She would even have demanded it. My mind travels the world as we did together. I visit the long beaches, the meadows and other places we made love. Sometimes taking all day and all night over each other, at other times passionate, ardent and violent. Tearing at each others clothes and devouring each other like animals. Now, I notice my arms are around her headstone and my face is against hers. I tell her, as I have told her every day, how much I love her, and I feel her tell me, as I have always felt her tell me, that she loves me too. I giggle, like a naughty schoolgirl. I find myself talking to her, telling her that I have masturbated thinking of her countless times. Almost in reality, I hear her say 'I should fucking well think so too!' I feel my heart tighten in my chest and my clit throbs. I move slightly, so my panties are in direct contact with the grass beneath me, but I know it would not be enough for Claire, so I take them off. The coolness against me does nothing to quench my heat as I talk to her. Telling her of the things I have done to myself in her name. I talk for how long, hours? minutes? who knows. This is not grief sticken perversity, this is someone talking to her soul-mate. I tell her that I am sitting here without my panties, but I know she already knows. I am so aroused now, so totally close to her and so totally in love. I know too, that soon it will be time to leave. I lean forward and kiss her picture and it is too much for me and I feel an orgasm tremble through me. I feel myself ejaculate into the grass.
Later, that night in bed, I think about Claire and I push her dildo deep inside me. Her resting place is now marked with my love for her. Some will say this is perverse, that I need help. I hope though that others will see that this was an inevitability of love. As I lay there fucking myself with Claire's dildo, I know suddenly in an epiphanal moment that I must go on and that in time, I will. My orgasm hits and I cum long and hard. Claire has made me the woman I am today. She has been mine, and I have been hers. Whatever I become, whomsoever I love in the future, she will be a part of me and me of her.