The Dark Side of the Force

I have been enjoying masturbation since I was 13. My fantasies to begin with were the usual girly stuff, naughty conversations, flirting, the quick glimpse of a cock, and if I am honest, a pussy. In the last year though, something happened that changed all that. It was late one evening about a year ago when I was travelling home by train. As I live out in the country, the train is usually virtually empty, but the station is little more than a platform in a field with a badly lit path to the main road which, itself is only a county lane that leads to my village. This particular night, someone got off the train when I did. This is unusual, but I took a quick glance and saw a man standing on the platform. I turned and made my way out. I could hear his footsteps behind me and suddenly, I was aware he was following me. In fact, he didn't have a choice since there is only the one way out from the station. I listened intently behind me to his footsteps. It seemed to me that when I sped up so did he and the same when I slowed down. I suddenly got the idea he was stalking me. There was a jolt of fear and then, to my horror, I actually became aroused. But not in the normal way, I was suddenly, instantly in that moment, like the blink of an eye fully aroused. I felt a welt of moisture between my legs.

There was about a half mile walk down that path and all the way I was getting wetter and wetter. My mind was in overdrive and kept feeding me scenarios. What if I suddenly feel his arm around my waist? What if he pulls me into the bushes? What if he rapes me? I had such a powerful feeling of pure terror and sexual arousal. They were quite distinct, yet separate. We walked on and my mind played its last trick. What if he fucked me in the ass? What if he got me pregnant? Finally, I was so scared that as I walked along, I peed my panties. I felt it run down my leg and suddenly as all this was happening, I felt a tiny orgasm.

We finally got to the lane and I heard him get closer to me. Suddenly he was alongside and as he passed me, he nodded and smiled and wished me "Good Evening." Then he was gone, down a side turning. I was breathless, wet, horny, scared, all these things. I turned to my left and walked into a field. There, with nothing more than a hedge for cover, I lay down on the wet grass and spread my legs. I ripped my pantyhose in several places and tore my panties before fingering myself to a huge, crushing orgasm, all the time imagining him raping me. I did everything including crying out. Oh how strong that cum was. How utterly fulfilling. I have done more since, but one thing I know, I love the thought of being violated.