Taking It Leisurely
I think my story is a little different than most. I have never masturbated. No that's not true, I have never masturbated to orgasm. In fact, I never masturbated until I was 17.
I have always been comfortable with my sexuality. My parents were pretty open, they were a little uncomfortable talking about sex, but gave me books to read that were sex positive. When I decided I wanted to become sexually active, and I really think it was a conscious, active decision, I went to the library before going to my boyfriend. That is where I found the Hite Report. (which if you haven't read, do. I recommend to all my friends -male and female) This was the first time I ever really understood masturbation and orgasms, sex-ed in school was very limited. At that point in my life I had rarely masturbated and never ogasmed. So I tried masturbating, I wanted to know what all this fuss was about plus I'd read that it was a good way to learn how to orgasm. I had a great sex life aside, open, experimental and I never felt frustrated, but I never had the big O.
Another lover I had didn't believe me when I first told him I didn't cum, and for a while I thought maybe I was and orgasms just weren't as great as everyone said. I would get wet and heavy, but never experience a 'sneezing' sensation, which was how one girlfriend described it. I had my first orgasm while my partner was delicately and deliberately sucking my clit, a regular part of our love making, but this time something clicked. He didn't notice and was a little confused when, after the waves had subsided, I started laughing. I told him that I had just cum to which he said "Really? are you sure?" To which I laughed even more. He smiled, lowered his head and proceeded to send me soaring again.
Now at twenty, masturbation is still not particularly important to me, but I see its potential so I keep at it. I enjoy touching myself, but never get super aroused. I have tried a variety of styles, oils and shower heads, but I get bored and am no where near cuming. My clit and I have a pretty casual relationship, my hands seem to drift down when ever they have nothing else to do. However, when my lover has made me wet and heavy and everything is smooth and slippery, I love to touch myself. I also love watching my partner masturbate, and though the first time it took a bit of courage to ask him to do it, now he does it when ever he wants. much to my enjoyment. Sometimes he does it purely to get my attention and get my juices flowing before he comes over, pulls down my pants and puts his face between my legs.
Hmm...I might just need to ask him to come over tonight.
At Solo, it pleases me to read of many women so comfortable with their bodies. I have even read of a few new techniques which I will try. We'll see if they work. I do not know if I would have been as comfortable with my sexuality as I am if I had not stumbled across the Hite Report, (thank you Shere). It is the only thing I have run across that talks about women who don't have orgasms and it was nice to know there were others. Now I think anyone can cum with a little patience and a dedicated lover. I will be patient with my hands.
If anyone's read through this, they might be wondering why i haven't simply gone out and bought a vibrator. I sometimes wonder this myself. I have no problem with sex stores, I have been in them plenty. I guess I want to know it the hard way first. Master the fundamentals before graduating to the toys. I don't feel like I need one...yet. The casual relationship is fine for now. --Cat Christine