Preface is that I have a very close relationship with my mom. She would do anything for me. I was sick a lot when I was younger and in turn spent a lot of time alone with her. I don't know exactly how I got the idea but one day I was bored (must've been around 13/14 when) and while my mom was in the shower, I tried to spy on her. I took a hand mirror and positioned it under the door frame into my parents master bathroom where the shower is across from the door a good 12 ft. The shower was all glass and I could easily see into the entire bathroom. My heart was racing the first time it happened. I saw my one and only mother completely naked and showering. She had a full but short bush, smaller but firm breasts with small, dark, and perfectly round nipples.
This became a routine for me. I knew exactly how she showered (she went through the same order every time: body, hair, shave arms, shave legs, turn off shower). I dreamed of touching her from that day on. Even though the routine was nothing exciting, every now and then, the routine would change. Sometimes after shaving her legs, my mom would then masturbate for a few minutes. Oh-My-God. The first time this happened, I thought I was going to pass out. She just casually let her hand linger down to her pussy and started gently rubbing while the other hand massaged one of her breasts. She also watched herself in the mirror across from the shower which made it even hotter. I continue my voyeurism of her in the shower whenever I am home. Sadly, I rarely catch her masturbating (probably 10 times ever out of over 100 showers) and she has never shaved her bush so I can't see the outline of her pussy.
The reason I am writing this is because while I am a perfectly functioning and successful person in life so far, I just have one major flaw: I've never been with a girl. It's one of those things I just expected to happen and because one thing or another here or there it just never has and now I get extremely nervous that when the situation arises, I will embarrass myself with my inexperience. This is where I think my mom could help. I would greatly appreciate some feedback about approaching her. I essentially want to say the following but haven't yet: "Mom, can I talk to you about something? It's very personal and private and has to stay between the two of us. I'm only asking you because you are my mom and would do anything for me and I trust you and can be safe with you (she had a hysterectomy). I know you care about me finding a girl but there's one issue: embarrassingly enough I've never been with one before. So I'm asking you as someone who can help me, someone I love and trust, if you would teach me and let me practice with you because I don't have to worry about embarrassing myself and can be open with you."
Please comment and let me know what you think because if you were in my situation, you would want advice on the situation too.