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Self defence?

Posted by: SoloTouchArchive Author: Flightcrew737 Posted on: 16 Sep 2006 1 comments
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Julia6......thanks. (You know for what.)The almost suffocating, leathery wings of grief wrapped themselves around me an swallowed me, whole, into a complete stasis of mind and body. Even breathing had to be made a deliberate act. I wanted to be isolated, or perhaps insulated from the rest of the world. Like being in a soundproofed room; any intrusion was a violation.In this clammy, totaly entity of night an unexpected pinpoint of light begged, then clammoured for attention. At my darkest point, unbeleiveably, my clit throbbed. Not for attention, no, not at first. Merely a soft glow as if to say. "I am here. It's alright."I went through my daily routine in an insulated numbness. All the actions were there, but the inside, I was inert. Still, in the painful silence of night, there she was again. Stronger this time, sending my sense of propriety into disgust. How could I be feeling horny now? Another day, and another night passed in a mixture of routine. Even the view from the flightdeck which always touched me so deeply was now mechanised.Last night, alone, awake, oh so forever awake, that insistent feeling between my legs. "It's alright. Touch me now." A deep breath, oh so deep, exhorcising what? Who knows! No. I can't...I mustn't. Again, not the fire I have known there, but a message, verabl and intact. "Touch me. Learn again."My hand obeyed the silent summons and moved from my tummy down between legs that opened unbidden. The short journey had released floodgates. My thighs were slick, the sheet beneath me covered with the dew of benediction from the cathedral of my sex. I slipped two fingers down either side of my clit. She wept, and rose within her sheath and, meeting her again, shed tears of moisture onto my fingers. She stiffened, painfully suddenly, making me gasp partly with pain. She throbbed in time with my heartbeat. Each beat causing a rising crest of pleasure topped with an icecap of pain. I carressed my clit as though she were the only person to understand. She welcomed my embrace, and urged my knees to come up off the bed. Not this time, the eroticism of exposure to myself or another. The tented bedclothes recreated the void around my heart. My clit pulsed. Thoughts and images flooded me. "Love me again, and you will love again." I moved in a circular motion, softly, delicately, as if I would break. (My heart? my soul?) A wave of heat, starting with the soles of my feet wrapped me and carressed me. It built and ebbed and flowed through my body, through my arms and legs and centered deep within my tummy. My back arched from the bed and my breathing deepened. My mouth opened in a worldess O. (Strange who aware of this orgasm I was.) I held myself rigid. I even left my clit alone. I held my breath and froze. Deep within myself, I felt the convulsions of my vagina, and I was only dimly aware of moisture jetting from between my legs to splash my calves and ankles. Oh yes, each blessed contraction. Yet no eroticism. None!How long I remained in that tortured position, I dont know. When I relaxed, I felt the bedsheet wet beneath me. The warmth slowly faded from my body. I lay still and closed my eyes. The glow in my belly faded and I knew, knew at that precise point, I would be alright.(Julia6 you will never know how grateful I am to you for forcing me to face something deep.)