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Scared To Orgasm

Posted by: Author: Age: 13 then, older now Posted on: 0 comments
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Never being told anything about sex, I was scared to cum when I first discovered masturbation.

 

When I was 13 I wasn't happy with my body. Hair under my arms, and between and on my legs was annoying and inconvenient. I had just started my period, which I also wasn't thrilled about, I didn't like pads, and I just didn't like being forced to bleed with no choice. I also didn't like how my vagina was often wet, secreting fluid, and I had this new and strange 'heavy' sensation down there, and an urge to press myself against things such as couch legs or bike seats. I also started showering obsessively, because I noticed that whenever I exercised, I would make new and unpleasant smells, especially when I took my shoes off, which I was convinced everyone noticed, but I now realize that I was just self-conscious and self-criticizing, and that no one noticed.


One time when I got out of the shower and had dried myself, I noticed once again that my vagina was being 'annoying', it was secreting it's own moisture, felt warm and 'heavy', and like I often did, I felt a strange urge to spread my legs and push it against something. I ran my fingers across it, feeling annoyed at how much moisture there was, I remember trying to push the moisture back in from the sides and top, sliding my fingers across my labia and clit, which I quickly discovered felt absolutely wonderful. I was no longer annoyed at the wetness that was now nearly running down my legs. I felt 'something' building, I knew that if I kept rubbing myself something would happen, and right at the edge, when I could tell it was about to happen, I stopped. I was scared, I could tell what was going to happen would be very strong, and for some reason I was frightened of

losing control, that I could hurt myself doing this. So with my hands shaking slightly I dried myself with toilet paper (which nearly sent me over the edge), clothed myself and tried to ignore the desperately strong urges I was having.


The next morning, going to the bathroom, I was horny again, my pussy wet and heavy once more, I ended up rubbing it again, but again too scared to go all the way, I stopped painfully on the brink of orgasm, and went about my day. At school I was distracted and irritable. That night I showered and again rubbed myself, and again didn't orgasm. The next week this happened every day, multiple times a day. I got to a point where I was nearly constantly horny and wet, and by the end of the week when I would rub myself it would only take a minute or two to get to 'that point'


I was also in a very grumpy mood, and bitchy with everyone. Feeling depressed and alone I went to bed early. That night I had a dream about boys, I knew very little about sex, but nonetheless dreamed about naked boys, and boys touching me. I woke up during this to find my hand down my panties, rubbing myself. As I woke up I was right at the point I had stopped each time before, but in my just awake state I didn't feel that fear this time, and kept going. I felt this amazing feeling rush from my pussy to my toes and up my whole body, like nothing I'd felt before, and better than anything I'd ever imagined. I felt my pussy twitching beneath my fingers, and my hips raised up, my toes curled tight and I let out a soft cry, my fingers going impossibly fast on my clit. When it was over I lay there twitching, very tired and relieved. My vagina, inner thighs and panties were soaked, and there was a small puddle under me. I was soaked with sweat, but I didn't mind. I drifted off to sleep, for the first time in a week, completely comfortable.


The next morning I was embarrassed to be awoken by my mom, who HAD to have known what I did; the sheets were still a little damp, and my room just smelled like pussy and sweat. She asked me 'Feel better today?' I just nodded, blushing bright red I'm sure. She kind of smiled and said 'Well why don't you go shower, I'm doing sheets today.' She was holding a big laundry hamper with other sheets from around the house. I said okay and headed to the bathroom. In the shower I had my second and third orgasm, and later that night had a less messy fourth and fifth. That was over 30 years ago, and I'm no longer scared to cum, to say the least.

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