Re: Male Masturbation Query

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There is no doubt in my mind that this will be one of a plethora of responses to 'Anon' and Her ... Male Maturbation Query. And I imagine, this one issue alone may convince Our esteemed Webmaster to Invoke a 'forum' type of dialogue, as personally, i am not too sure this actually belongs in the 'story' section; yet, like i am sure, so many others that are gonna feel the same -- i feel that I HAVE to reply!!! ... oh well!

'Anon's' 'story' seems riddled with contradictions, not the least of which 'i love him to death / i think he is a pig / i am ready to leave him', so, in reality, i think that her last statement is pretty much the finale on this, and really there is little more to say to her. However, my response then i think is going to be more aimed at other's in a potentially 'degenerating relationship'. Fairly early on in the relationship, You discovered an interest in your mate for 'porn', and You voiced Your clear dissatisfaction with that. To which i would say 'all well and fine, to each his own,' except that You don't feel that way. You are allowed to dislike porn, while You clearly do not provide Your partner with the same freedom of choice on the matter. The enjoyment of porn is NOT based on gender lines as You have been led to believe. Many Women and Men TOGETHER in a Loving Fullfilling relationship enjoy porn both together and separately.

Unfortunately, i don't feel that i can answer any of the questions posed in the last paragraph except the inquiry regarding Your moral position. I don't believe that You have taken a moral position. As best i can tell, Your concern is not primarily the 'content' of the porn as to its existance in Your partner's life at all. Speaking for myself, i tend towards the enjoyment of porn that reflects my wife; both physically reflective and of her sexual desires, preferences and fantasies.

By condemning his enjoyment of porn at all, You have dramatically influenced emotionally his boundry of acceptable porn. You have placed Yourself outside of his enjoyment of porn and enforced that by condeming it from Your mutual sex life. You have set the parameters, for which, it would seemingly not be unnatural for him to seek that which is Not inclusive of You in his choice of porn. He knows that You don't approve, so it would be natural for him to seek something that does not in anyway reflect to him Your disapproval.

On a final note, i would like to emphasize that i in no way condone what he has done. He has clearly been dishonest about his own sexuality for whatever reason. I think it was wrong for him to promise You that he would stop when he evidently knew fairly well that he wouldn't. It wasn't neccessarily wrong for him to continue enjoying porn, just that it wasn't appropriate in a Open, Loving, Fullfilling, Shared and Balanced relationship (which i have my grave doubts that this represents) to promise something that he was unlikely to follow through with.



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