Practice Makes Purrfect!
First I'd like to say THANK YOU! to the people who suggested using a curling iron. I had a broken one lying around and I took it apart and removed the clamp part and the wire. I'd thought about using it before but I'd worried that the metal would be too uncomfortable. Boy was I wrong! It's fabulous. Metal is a great conductor of cold or heat and it heats up really quickly inside of me. It feels great and the handle is an added bonus. I've been using cucumbers for some time now but they have a lot of drawbacks...constant expense, cleaning and warming them up takes time when you need it fast, I always wonder if my straight-laced roommates notice that I buy a lot of them but rarely eat them, then I have to worry about throwing them away where they won't be noticed...
And I'd like to tell all of you girls out there who are just getting started to hang in there! For years I didn't masturbate. I was one of the ones who said, "It's like kissing my brother." What I really should have been saying was, "I have no idea what I'm doing." When I finally decided that I needed to learn what to do and keep practicing until I got it right I got on the internet and looked for some info.
It took me a long time to finally get an orgasm by masturbating. The thing is that something that works for other people might not work for you. I spent a long time trying the showerhead but it never worked for me. This is my advice. First of all do not go at it cold. Do something to get yourself in the mood first, read some erotic stories or watch a movie or something, whatever it takes. Make sure that you are totally comfortable and then just relax and have fun. In the beginning I found that it helped if I played with my breasts for a long time, until I was really wet and needed it bad.
I also suggest using some kind of lubricant at first, I found that after I got good at it I no longer needed any extra lubrication. I started out focusing my attention on my clit and I suggest that you do that too. Get to know your clit and what feels best, for me it is just one finger, pressing down hard and moving back and forth. I get a different sensation depending on if I use my right or my left hand. However, I must say that at first I couldn't get an orgasm playing only with my clit. I had to insert something into my vagina. I went around trying anything that seemed like it would fit but in the end cucumbers worked best (long thin ones, not the regular ones). At first I would just insert the 'dildo', whatever it was, and just having it inside of me was enough. It made my clit extra big and sensitive and I'd just attack my clit. That's when I started orgasming.
After that I started working the 'dildo' in my vagina. Pumping it in and out feels really nice and is most reminiscent of actual sex but I find that wiggling it back and forth or in circles is much more stimulating. I also like to use my fingers and go at my g-spot. After awhile I also tried things in my ass. I don't do it very often and I always worry about doing damage. Basically what I do is insert something very small, like a pen, and then I put something in my vagina and work that. It feels *amazing* so I really suggest that you try it. Normally whatever I put in my ass works its way out pretty quickly but it doesn't matter, my vagina and clit remain extra sensitive.
My last piece of advice is Don't Stop Trying. It may take a long time (I remember reading a magazine a few years ago that said you needed to practice an hour a day for three months - really it shouldn't take that long!) but it is well worth it, and practicing should be a lot of fun! And the benefits are great, it really reduces my stress level, pms and cramps. And I think everyone should know how to operate their own body.
Have fun! --Cass