My feminine feelings began to blossom when again I bonded with a woman who loved to be watched in intimacy.
My fantasies about being a girl began to blossom in college. I had rented an apartment and become friendly with the couple downstairs. My girlfriend was in Europe, so I was alone. I would drop in downstairs whenever I felt like it, and we'd hang out, or have dinner, or whatever. I thought the girl, Diana, was pretty attractive, although she wasn't exactly my type.
Diana's husband left her without warning for another woman, and she was devastated. I became her best friend during that time. She'd make dinner almost every night, and we'd also say hello in the mornings. She cried on my shoulder (literally) and also got angry, and flirted, and played sexy or was bitchy or depressed and gradually she began to get over the shock.
Diana would have a desert ready or something to eat. After she started working she was often getting ready for bed when I arrived. We'd talk while she was doing her hair and stuff for the night, and of course I became glued to her just as I had been with Dianne (see Part 1). Diana was insecure and she clearly liked the attention. Because I was safe (just a friend) she could be very free and bold in flirting-or in doing anything she liked.
Diana didn't have a car, so I began driving her to work. I go down to her place in the morning as she was getting ready, and we'd talk and stuff, and I would help her get ready to go. Not surprisingly, I started showing up earlier and earlier to drive her to work until she was with me almost from when she got up. I'd make breakfast for both of us.
She was always happy to see me, and I was again entranced and feeling very good to be around a woman in her private moments. I made her feel good. In her insecurity at being single again, she flirted (usually humorously) and tried out her sex appeal with me. Diana began observing modesty, but also she would purposely leave her blouse open or give me a little glimpse of her half-undressed because it made her feel sexy (and me too). She would still close the door when she was actually dressing, though, and that was always a big disappointment.
One night I got back from school and she was in the bathroom. I said hello through the door, and she said, 'Come in, I want to talk.' I came in, and she was there, naked in a tub of hot water, pink and smiling. Something exciting had happened at her work, and she was very happy and was bubbling over to talk about it.
I had never seen her breasts full on before, and floating in the tub they were awesome and succulent. She was very pale and pink, and I had to pry my eyes away from the black hair between her legs. I tried to be cool and casual, and not make a big thing of it. She was very animated, and then stood up out of the tub and motioned for her towel. She dried herself, put on a robe. We had some desert and said good night without saying much.
I wasn't sure if she had suddenly crossed a line, or was just so excited she kind of didn't notice. I didn't say anything, but after that Diana would go about her business freely, half dressed or even undressed, apparently without concern for me. We both liked this-we weren't headed for bed together, even though we were attracted, but we fully enjoyed the erotic side of our relationship. Almost because it was unspoken, it was more powerful.
Diana was a bit of an exhibitionist, and in the safe atmosphere between us, she could put on a show without having to deal with the complications of a boyfriend's reactions. I pretended to be cool, but we both knew that this got our juices flowing. At first I had to pretend that I was intent on talking with her or doing something useful in order to, say, be in the bathroom when she came out of the shower. After a while we dropped that pretense, and we both understood that I was getting off watching her intimate moments, and that she was thrilled by the attention. Sometimes we'd flirt and kid each other about it, other times we would keep quiet and stay casual, no matter how hard my heart was pounding.
Perhaps from the outside it would look boring, but for me it was very exciting. I savored every moment. In the morning, I would wake up feeling excited about what I might see and feel, and I was rarely disappointed. I will never forget the site of Diana pulling on her panty hose, and then going out to the kitchen for breakfast in just pantyhose and a bra or halter top. Diana would step out of the shower, dry herself off and wrap a towel around her long black hair. I never tired of watching her do this, and seeing her breasts hang perkily as her arms were raised. To this day, when I brush my hair, I think of her, and feel the flesh of my own breasts feels sensuous and round.
In the evening, Diana almost always wore thin white robe that showed her shape well, and also didn't stay closed very well. Late at night, watching videos, she would let the robe slip, and reveal her body to me in its fullness. We would sit relaxed together, but sometimes the sexual charge made the air thick and hot.
In our beds at night, we both knew we were having a good time, and Diana hinted that she thought of me at night, in my bed, moving toward orgasm and thinking of the day before. Our sessions alone at night became prominent in our lives, and we began to acknowledge that our eroticism also was becoming deeply self-sexual for both of us. One morning she said something like, 'Oh, I just love my body so much!' I knew what she meant-I was loving mine, too, but I was afraid to say it, even to Diana. When I would leave at night Diana would come to the door and kiss me, or rub against me, or rub my pants, and sometimes allow me to feel her breasts.
During this time my masturbation fantasies changed a lot. I had always been pretty 'straight' in my fantasies-all the usual stuff. At night after being with Diana I'd remember a particular glimpse of a nipple, or her pussy hair or just anything that was erotic, and instead of just pumping my dick, my hand would go to my nipple, or my crotch, or smoothly across my belly. Now, instead of a passing caress, the feelings of being like a girl began to stay and grow and I blossomed into a woman in my dreams.
One night we watched a romantic video after dinner. Diana wore her robe, with nothing underneath. The robe came loose, and she knew I saw her out of the corner of her eye. The video was turning her on, and her hand went between her legs. I was no more than six feet away, and I could feel the electricity, but I was afraid to spoil things by moving a single muscle. Diana got up and went to the bathroom for a long time. She came out loose and happy, and said something like 'It was just so hot in here, I had to cool down,' and we both knew what she meant. When I left that night, she came to the door, and rubbed her breasts against me, and gave me a very sexy smile. She gave me a hug, and her hands explored my butt.
I took a hot shower, and slipped into bed. An awesome urge took over and suddenly I let go my cock, and with both hands started stroking my body. My body felt like a Diana's, with a soft round ass, big hips, breasts...soft thighs and pretty ears, everything. I felt myself all over, and this thrilling feeling overcame me. I'd had passing feelings like this, but now I was taken over totally! I was so turned on that I had a big orgasm without doing anything. I was kind of shocked and surprised at myself, and it was a bit scary. I loved every minute. Then to my amazement, my cock didn't shrink after I came, but stayed erect, twitching, in a kind of continuous orgasm. Wow!
When I saw Diana the next day I felt shy, and I gave her a big hug. She didn't know why, and I didn't really either, but I just felt very close to her. Now she seemed more erotic than ever before, and I felt her every movement and mood deep in my own body. The next day she said that people at work thought she had a new boyfriend, because of her glow. Our erotic charge sweetened.
A couple of days later, Diana again got aroused watching a video, and stood up to go to the bathroom. I stopped her and said, 'You don't need to leave. This is your house, you should feel free to do anything you want.' She started again for the bathroom. 'I want to see you do it!' I said, suprising both of us! Diana stopped, and went and sat down again. She carefully opened her robe around her, so that it framed her bare breasts and the curve of her hips. She flexed her legs a little, and made room for her hand. Her skin was pale, but her hair was deep black, and the white of her hand disappeared into the black.
She stroked herself slowly and languidly, just as I had imagined, until she approached orgasm, and then her hand became strong and definite, and her breathing became very strong and rapid, she began to moan, and almost cried when she finally came. I was speechless. I leaned over and gave her a soft kiss, and she smiled. Then she jumped up, and began making some desert! I couldn't wait to get to my room to relieve myself!
The next morning, I wasn't sure how Diana would feel about exposing herself the night before. When I came down, she was just getting out of bed, and she came up to me and slipped her finger under my nose with a smile-it smelled of fresh juices! At breakfast she told me how much she liked it the night before.
Every few days we rented a video, and her mastubation in front of my eyes became a ritual that we both enjoyed. She would always send me off to my bedroom with a very sexual rub, and I was always really hot when I got behind my door. Of course I was hot, too, when I was watching her, and many times I wanted badly to masturbate along with Diana.
I was very shy and although I thought of doing it a lot, I couldn't do it without encouragement from Diana, which she didn't give. I felt would have upset the balance of our relationship, and disturbed the safety of our erotic liaisons. Probably most of all, my new feminine eroticism was a very secret and private part of me. I knew that I could not feel that way except when I was alone. I treasured the feeling, they were tender and vulnerable feelings, and I had to keep them to myself. I didn't know that it wasn't such a secret, after all....