When I was 18 I learned a lot about not being shy when it comes to jacking off - all the guys do it, so what's the big deal?
Overcoming Shyness in the Dorms
In the autumn of 1989 I headed off to college. The prospect of living away from home was exciting but that also meant giving up my own bedroom - I would be sharing a dorm room with a roommate. At home I could jack off whenever I wanted to without worrying about anyone else walking in on me. An older college friend explained that he went to the dorm bathroom to jack off or did it in the shower. So I wasn't looking forward to losing my privacy.
Single dorm rooms were assigned to upperclassmen only. Freshmen and sophomores had to make do with two to a room, sometimes three. So the possibility of privacy for jacking off was non-existent. And we had no choice of roommates the first year. My new roommate, Mike , was already unpacked when I arrived. He was an outgoing New Yorker who was not the least bit shy about his body. But then he had four older brothers at home so I guess that didn't leave much room for being shy in front of others. Mike surprised me the first night when he stripped down completely to go to the showers. He stepped out into the hall with the towel over his shoulder rather than around his waist. I don't consider my family overly conservative but we always kept covered then going to and from the bathroom. I wouldn't even think of walking down the hall naked with my kid sister and mother in the house. Maybe it was different in house full of boys.
I was in bed when Mike returned from the showers. He was still toweling off as I fell sleep. Sometime later I awoke. Although the lights were out, there was considerable light from the street. Mike was in bed on the opposite side of the room, lying on his back with the blankets rolled back, wearing only a T-shirt. His thighs were spread wide apart with the knees bent up and outward and the soles of his feet touching. It was a strange position. In the half-lit room I could see that he was jacking off. With one fist he was stroking his cock while the other hand seemed to be massaging his chest or nipple under the T-shirt.
I had never seen anyone masturbate before (other than in porn videos). I felt embarrassed but didn't want him to know that I was awake. I got a hard-on just watching him. Mike continued jacking for what seemed a very long time, pausing every few minutes and then starting again. All the while he was breathing heavily and sighing 'ah....ah ...' as he stroked. After what seemed forever, he stiffened his legs straight out and finished the deed. He reached for his something on the floor, wiped himself and pulled up the blankets. Within a couple of minutes he was snoring. I felt guilty for having spied on my roommate while he was jacking off. But I still had a hard-on to deal with so I went down to the dorm lavatory and jacked off in the toilet.
The next couple of nights, Mike repeated his jack off sessions. I would turn in before he did and later watch him jacking off in the half-light. I continued to feel guilty about spying on him but I didn't know what to do about it. I was too self-conscious to jack off with my roommate right there in the room. Thanks to Mike, the situation was resolved a few nights later. That night, we both hit the sack about the same time. Lights were out and each of us was settling in. Out of the blue he asked me from across the room, ' Jeff, do you jack off?' Surprised at the frankness of his question I reluctantly admitted that I did 'once in awhile'. 'Well, so does every other guy in this dorm', said Mike. 'So why don't you and I spare ourselves a lot of grief and just agree to jack off when we want to? You take care of your business and I'll take care of mine.' I agreed that it didn't make sense for us to hide the obvious when we lived in the same room. With that, Mike rolled back his blankets and began his nightly ritual. He reached under his bed, lubed up and started to stroke. We didn't talk much more that night because I was still too shy to jack off openly, despite our 'agreement'. It took awhile before I could masturbate in bed with Mike in the room. When I finally did start to jack off in bed, Mike ignored what I was doing - it was as though I wasn't even there. He told me that he had seen it all, with four brothers at home. After our 'agreement' the only real change I noticed was that Mike didn't hold back with the sighs and vocals. I always knew when he started to jack off because his breathing and 'ah..'s were a lot louder than before . And when he got to the climax he would utter a few heavy 'Ugh...Ugh...Ugh's' as he went over the brink. At home I had learned to jack off quietly to avoid waking my sister or parents so I am still pretty quiet when I jack off or have sex..
We talked about masturbation a few times. Mike kept a bottle of baby oil under his bed to use as a lube- a practice I soon copied. When he undressed for bed each night he would stash his jockey shorts under the bed. Later he would use his shorts to wipe the cum from his belly after he went off. He told me that he liked to hold the soles of his feet together while he jacked off - said that the feeling was electric. I tried it but it never did much for me. To keep your soles touching, you have to spread your thighs and knees really wide. It's impossible to lie under the blankets in this position - you need too much room. I've always preferred my legs outstretched, slightly apart. Mike practiced what he called 'edging'. That's why he could jack off for forty-five minutes before going off - but that's another story. Once in awhile I would wake up early in the morning to pee and Mike would be jacking off again - something I rarely did. He said he needed relief at night and a boost to start the new day. We never 'got together' to jack off, other than each doing his own thing in his own bed - and that was just about every night. I sometimes borrowed his r's baby oil when I ran short. Mike had a steady girlfriend in the second semester but it didn't slow down his jacking at all. I didn't have a steady girlfriend until my senior year (I married her) so I really looked forward to the nightly jacking session when I could forget classes, assignments, etc. and just relax. Having a mutual understanding with my roommate meant that I never had to jack off in the showers or wait until he was away from the room. But I never did overcame the shyness of walking down the dorm wall with my towel over my shoulder instead of around my waist. Lots of other guys followed Mike's lead though.
In my sophomore year Mike transferred to another school so I had a new roommate. Wayne and I met during freshman year. This time it was my turn to 'break the ice'. I was now relaxed and confident enough not to hide the obvious. For the first few nights I jacked off just after lights out. I did it discretely under the blankets but obvious enough for Wayne to know what I was doing. I didn't want to spook him by raising the question too soon. I don't know when or where Wayne was doing his jacking. A few nights later I asked him if he jacked off. When he answered 'yes', I suggested that we could each take care of our business without hiding from one another. He agreed of course but just like me the year before, claimed that he only jacked off 'once in awhile'. NOT. Soon enough he was jacking off every night just like me.
Wayne left the program at Christmas. So I popped the question to my new roommate Karl. He was very reluctant about being that open and seemed quite embarrassed. He likely thought I was hitting on him. I wasn't prepared to go back to the old way so I told him I jacked off every night before going to sleep. Was he okay with that? He was. For a couple of weeks I indulged my favorite bedtime activity as before, though a bit nervously. I felt a certain shyness again because my roommate was so prudish. Then one night after lights out I became aware that I wasn't the only one jacking. Yes, Karl eventually got tired of hiding in the showers, or waiting for me to go to sleep or whatever he was doing. For the rest of the semester he jacked off just about every night except when I was still up reading - by this point I jacked as soon as I went to bed whether my roommate was up or not. Karl and I never discussed masturbation (or much of anything else) but each of us did take care of our own 'needs' without transgressing on one another. In my junior year I joined a fraternity where jacking off was about as private as sitting down to dinner. But that is another story.
I am grateful to Mike for helping me to overcome a stupid embarrassment about my own sexual nature. We all jack off so what's the big deal? I wonder how many guys in college dorms are still trying to hide what everybody knows, too shy to admit that they are male and do what comes naturally. I've been married for six years and yes, I still jack off almost every day. Sex with my wife is fabulous but there's something unique and special about solo jacking too.