This was the only gay experience I have ever had in my life. Perhaps I gave into it because I was curious or that being the object of pursuit excited me, even though the pursuer was male. He wanted to do more, and he got me to a point where I was begging him to seduce me. It was only the timely (for me) arrival of his roommate that kept me from making what might have been the biggest mistake of my life.
In the early 90s, before the Internet came into existence as we know it, there were bulletin boards a person could sign into. All you needed was a computer, a modem, and a phone line. I was participating in one of these boards, a social networking site, and was looking for an older woman-younger man relationship (I did have such an experience, but that's a story for another posting).
As I was logging out, after briefly chatting with a woman who sounded interesting, I got pulled into a conversation with another participant who called himself 'Green Lantern'.
After about an hour of chatting, and finding out where my head was at regarding gay men (I've got no problem with them), Green Lantern (GL) turned the conversation to sex, saying he was bi, and telling me what he liked. When he asked me what sexual activities I liked, I told him kissing, of course, masturbation, cunnilingus, and being fellated.
'Have you ever fucked a woman in the ass?' He typed. Yes, once. She enjoyed it, me, not so much, since I didn't really feel the pleasure I did from fucking or fellatio.
'Have you ever had a man blow you?' Uh,no.
'Would you like to see what it's like?' Um, no.
'Do you like handjobs?' Yes, very much.
'Would you like me to give you a handjob? I have very soft hands, and I've been told that I do a good job.'
GL went on to tell me that he would do whatever I wanted; kissing me, playing with my nipples (which I love, and made the mistake of telling him), and even fucking me if that's what I wanted.
I sat back from the computer. I couldn't believe that I was actually thinking about having a man make love to me. What bothered me, too, was that I was becoming aroused by the thought. In hindsight, what I found exciting was the idea of being chased by someone who was aggressive. When a woman did that, I would be hot for her often.
I gave him a non-committal answer and logged off.
Over the next few days, GL (his real name was 'Roy') would send me emails, ending in 'Love', 'Love you,' 'Sweet Dreams' and the one that really got me thinking about taking him up on his proposition 'Here's a goodnight kiss for you, X. Lots of tongue, nice and slow.' Having not had sex for several months, I was very horny. I actually masturbated thinking about Roy making love to me, even fantasizing about him seducing me to the point where I was begging him to fuck me. I decided to contact Roy.
'Roy, this is X.'
'How are you, sweet thing? I've been thinking about you. What have you decided?'
'First of all, are you trying to change me?'
'X, if you want to change, that's up to you. All I want to do is spend some time with you, see if there's any kind of spark there. Remember, even though I've come on to you, you may not turn me on. I don't know what you look like, other than what you have told me. It could be a lie. You could look like a troll.'
'Nope, Roy. I don't look like a troll.'
'Good. Tell you what, if you decide you don't want to have sex with me, that's cool. We can be friends. If you do have sex with me, I'll make it as good as I can for you.'
'Roy, are you going to try to fuck me?'
'Only if you want me to, X. I'm not going to try to rape you, if that's what you're afraid of, nor will I try to get you drunk or slip you a roofie. For one thing, as big as you say you are, you could beat the shit out of me. Secondly, you aren't the first straight guy I've come onto and tried to seduce. It's more fun when the guy is willing, like the last guy, for the most part.'
'What happened?' I asked.
'I seduced him and then he got all clingy. I broke it off, and he went off the deep end, feeling confused and rejected. Are you that weak, X?'
'Nope, just horny.' I got the directions to Roy's apartment and planned to meet him the next evening.
Not sure what exactly I was trying to prove to myself, I wore a light shirt, and running shorts. A former lover (female) said I had nice legs, lean and muscular. I figured that Roy, being gay would like a guy's body, so I wanted to make sure he could see it. I went commando, feeling my cock and balls swinging free. What was I doing? I wanted to make sure he could get to me without having to work at it? What the hell was I thinking? Did I want Roy to fuck me?
Thinking about what might happen, I was more curious than excited. Driving down the road, I thought that here I am, driving to meet a man who is willing to do anything sexually I ask of him. This was a potentially life-changing event for me, and I all I had to do was ask him to do whatever I wanted.
Before I knew it, I was at Roy's apartment. He opened the door and I stepped inside.
Roy was about my height, but leaner. Blonde hair, blue eyes. He offered his hand, and welcomed me.
I intended to keep him at bay until, and if I decided I wanted something to happen. We talked, me on the sofa, near the end, and him across the room in a recliner. He was easy to talk to, and knew a lot about sports, movies, and politics. I began to relax a little bit. He offered me a beer, but I declined, not being a drinker. Besides, I wanted to be in control.
He said there was a movie on TV that he wanted to see. It turns out it was one of my favorites. He offered to make some popcorn, and told me that his roommate, who was straight was okay with him being bi, but didn't like it when Roy had lovers over. The roommate paying most of the rent, Roy said it was a good deal, especially since the roommate often was out of town for days at a time on business.
He sat next to me on the sofa. We talked some more during the movie. Roy complimented me on my movie knowledge, and also said 'Has anyone told you that you have a nice ass and legs?'
'Only women. Thanks, I think, Roy.' I was beginning to think that coming over was a bad idea, and that I should leave before things got out of control.
Roy sensed my attitude. 'Sorry, X. That was probably too soon, huh?' He sounded truly apologetic, so I told him not to worry about it.
We sat and enjoyed the movie and ate popcorn. During one of the scenes in the movie, an actress I found very sexy came on the screen. Wearing a very revealing costume, I immediately got aroused. I then decided quickly to take the next step, later rationalizing that lust was driving my actions, and that here was someone who wanted me sexually, so why fight it?
'If you are going to seduce me, you better move quick before I lose my nerve.' Roy put the popcorn down, stood up, kneeled on the sofa, put his hands on my face, and kissed me. My eyes were still open. His lips felt like a woman's lips, soft and moist. I guess there's no difference. I kept my lips together, until he moved his hands over my shirt, unbuttoning it, then grasping my nipples and rolling them between his fingers.
'Uuuuh.' My eyes closed in pleasure and my mouth opened. He slid his tongue in, and let it move around slowly, filling my mouth. God, it felt good to be kissed like that. I had to remember to ask my female lovers to do that.
I worked up the nerve to kiss him back. Not knowing if there was anything different I should do, I put one of my hands behind his head, holding him to my face and kissed him hard, moving my tongue in and out like I did with my female lovers. He moaned, so I guess that worked.
His hand drifted to my cock. He squeezed it and said 'I want this.' He kissed me again, pulling down my running shorts, exposing my hard penis to him. He began to expertly stroke it.
I don't know how long he jacked me off. He went slow then fast. He knew how to get me to the edge of orgasm, then bring me back. My head was spinning with lust. Someone was yelling; it was me.'
'Oh, Roy! More, don't stop! Oh, God, that's so good! It's never been so good in my life.' I was babbling, I was so out of control. It truly was the best hand job I had ever had to that point in my life.
The sweetness of the ecstasy I was feeling overwhelmed me. I wanted it to never end. I started crying.
'Roy, oh, Roy! Please, I don't want this to stop! Oh, don't let me come, please!' Then the words I thought I would never say came out of my mouth; I felt like I was under a spell.
'Roy, oh, God! Please, before I change my mind! Fuck me, fuck me, darling! Oh, God, I want you inside my ass! I adore you for this, Roy! I want your come inside me! Take me, Roy! I want you to have me! Make me yours!' It was like another person was saying those words. Roy had got me to such an incredible place sexually that I didn't want to leave, and was willing to do anything to stay there. I felt drugged. I reached out and found Roy's cock. Goddamn, it was big and hard. It had to be over 8'. I was so in lust that I didn't care that he was going to tear me in half with that. I wanted him to force me to the other side. No more playing the stupid game of cat and mouse with women. I was going to be the prey and my reward for giving in to the predator was ecstasy.
I heard Roy groan, and he kissed me again, his stroking continuing.
'First X, I'm going to make you come. When you recover, I'll do it right. We'll go to bed. I'll teach you what I like and you can jack me off. I'll suck your cock, then teach you how to do it. I think you'll like the taste of my come. When you're ready for me, I'll lube your sweet asshole with K-Y jelly, and finger you that way, so you get used to the feeling of something in your ass. I promise you, you will love it. We have all night and all day. When you're ready, I'll fuck you all you want. By the time you go home tomorrow, your ass will be sore, but you will feel wonderful.'
His stroking sped up, then I let go.
'AAAAAAAAHHHH!' I screamed. Come left my penis in a corkscrew pattern, and landed on the carpet. I began crying again, with the release. Roy held me, tenderly, gently kissing me. 'Sshh, X. I've got you. You're going to fall asleep soon, love. Let's go to bed. When you wake up, we'll start with all the wonderful things you want. I'll give you the loving you crave and that I want you to have.' As I nodded, feeling drained, and wanting only to sleep, Roy took my hand, helped me up and began leading me to his bed. I was beginning to wonder what my new life as a gay man's lover would be like when suddenly Roy said, 'Oh, no! Oh, no! Not now, Goddamnit!'
Shaking off my sexual ecstasy, I asked him what was wrong.
'My fucking roommate is back! His car just pulled up! Oh, shit! You have to go!' Feeling his panic, I grabbed my clothes, pulled them on, and left through the back door, out into the patio, then through the gate to the parking lot. I looked back and saw Roy pulling on his shorts, running into the kitchen and grabbing a dishtowel, I guess to mop up my come.
When I got to my car, not being seen by the roommate, I thought about what had happened. I realized that I had flirted with something that really was not for me, and wishing that Roy had been a woman who knew what he did about men.
Roy called me the next day, but I let his messages go to voicemail. I stopped responding to his emails, and stopped my participation in the bulletin board. After a month, I never heard from Roy again.