An interesting encounter...[taken from my online sex blog] This happened this past summer. I'm 15, average weight and slightly tall. I have shoulder-length brown hair that refuses to ever look nice. =P
I'm very nervous about posting here.. I wouldn't want anyone that I know, who I don't want to know about this, to see this... Oh well! I need to post it somewhere! I really do enjoy this site though. Interesting stories some people have to share =P [* = name changed]
Before I begin, there is something I must say... I am a very shy person. I will go out of my way to avoid a potentialy embarassing/awkward situation. With that being said, the fact that I actually did this... I'm not sure what came over me. I guess feelings of lust and curiosity really can get the better of a person. Oh well! It was all a learning experience.
During the summer, my family was going on our annual summer trip to Buffalo, New York. We were going to visit our cousins and to go to a theme park. Now, I had been rather excited for this trip. Let me start by explaining something... The family of cousins I always stay with have a boy my age and a girl three years younger. Now I used to hang around with the boy, who I shall call David*, because I was very tomboyish when I was littler.
About two years ago, I started hanging out with the girl, Amy*. I think it might have been because I subconciously knew that if I hung out with David any longer, things would get wierd because we were getting older.
I was right. Last summer, he was hanging out in my room, watching TV like we usually did. Now, at this time, we were both about 13 or 14... We were sitting on my bed together, not really paying attention to the television. He was talking to me and I was just kind of staring at him.. Then he started telling me I was pretty... But before anything else happened, his father came up and said it was late and we should go to bed, so we did.
I guess, from that, I kind of had this wierd fantasy type thing about him because no other guys have ever called me pretty and meant it. And I understood how wrong that was... I mean he's my cousin.. Even if it's third cousins.. It's still strange.
So before we went this year, I had this idea that I would be nicer than usual to him. I guess it's because I believe in lust more than love and that feeling of lust had consumed my mind. I figured I could get something from him (whether it be experience in some area or just exploration of myself and my limits.)
The first night we were there, nothing worth mentioning happened.
On the second night, it was late (probably near 2 a.m.), and we were in his room playing some zombie shooting game and I was lying on the floor, with him beside me. Suddenly, he leaned against me (like he was tired) and I could feel myself flushing a bit. I mean, I'm not exactly used to physical contact from someone of the opposite sex (or the same, for that matter). I'm a reject of society and people have never 'wanted' me.
So we were just talking about the game, stupid conversation. I was nervous and just kept talking on and on to distract myself from the thoughts of what might happen. But then his mother came up and told us she was going to bed and that we had to be quiet.
Something of interest to note: The second he heard the door open, he darted away from me and that gave me some hint that his actions weren't because he was tired or whatever... cause we have this relationship where everyone thinks we hate each other. (Which I did.. up until last New Year's Eve. And even then, I didn't like him a whole lot) So we have to keep that up so no one suspects anything (I guess subconsciously, we both knew something was going to happen, so we followed our 'unwritten' plan.)
Now, I'm a very shy person and I wouldn't go out of my way to stop him from doing whatever he was going to do, because it would lead to awkward questions and I would be strange and not able to answer or face him again... So I let it slide that night. Of course, I'm stupid for not putting a stop to it... It was wrong, even if I didn't enjoy it slightly, something inside me really did want something to happen.
Now the next night... This is where things really happened. My sister, Amy, David, and I were downstairs in the living room watching TV. It was around midnight. My sister and Amy were on the couch and I was on the large chair with David across from me in the other one. As it was nearing three in the morning, David got up to go to the bathroom. I noticed Amy and my sister were nearly asleep. I just sat there flicking channels, almost wishing he would come back as this was the perfect time. I guess my mind was torn. I wanted something to happen, but I knew it would be so wrong and I would regret it.
Well, I got my wish. He walked back into the room and sort of pushed me over, sitting on the chair with me. I thought he was just being stupid, as he normally is. I told him to 'Screw off! Get your own chair!' but he ignored me and stayed there. And I guess, I did want something to happen, so I didn't say anything else. I figured, if I didn't stop him, but didn't egg him on, it would be fine. I made nervous chatter, stupid comments about the show.
Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend. He'd been asking that earlier in the day and making comments about how I couldnt't get one if I wanted and stuff. So I told him it was none of his business. Then he went on to tell me about how he had a girlfriend but she dumped him, and he kept assuring me he never did anything with her. Like I cared, though.
Then he said, 'Here, give me the remote; I'll put on a good family show.' I knew he was joking and would put on the porn channel but of course, I didn't want to watch that, or at least with him there. =P]
So I just lay there, and was silent for a good 20 minutes. I think he may have thought that I had fallen asleep. But no, of course I was wide awake and observant as ever.
Ok, I'm going to interupt with something. I told this to two of my best friends. At the time, I felt very bad and shameful about what happened, and disgusted with myself, thinking I could never face him again, but right now, I feel completly unguilty and I haven't regreted my decisions. I don't know why I'm like that. I shouldn't be. What happened was WRONG. Or at least, society would have me believe so. Oh well! On with the story.
So while we lay there, on the chair, he sort of put his arm around me, rather casually. I got scared, and my heart started beating fast.. My face flushed.. But I was excited. Of course, up to this point, I had only dreamed of sexual things.
I lay there, physically unable to move. It was like, I knew how wrong it was, but my body wasn't responding. My sensible mind no longer had any control. But then this funny feeling came over me. I knew what I was about to do was wrong and I wouldn't be able to face it the next morning, but at that point I just didn't care anymore. My body desired something and it was going to get it.
Every so often, I would shift my hips, so my butt would press against him. It was such a natural movement, I couldn't stop it. I just kept grinding against him. I guess he got the 'hint' and he put his hand atop mine and locked fingers with me. Now, this felt far too intimate so I pulled away, but I continued moving. I could feel him pushing against me, too.
I shifted a bit more, so I was lying on my back and using my arm, which was underneath his, to push his hand towards my chest. He got the idea and start gently brushing his hand over top. I slightly gasped, as this was a new sensation. I've never had anyone else touch me like that before. So it's different then, when I do it. He must have taken that as a good sign.
He moved again so both of his hands were free and he wrapped one arm sort of around my shoulders so he could get at my other side. His other hand slowly made its way down. He kind-of-like 'teased' me a bit by gently rubbing my thigh, and I must say, it was making my head rush. I mean, it was something new.
So I lay there, curious what would happen next, but I would not help him along. He was on his own because I didn't want to do something that would make me feel directly 'responsible' for what happened.
He moved his hand to my lower stomach and gently carressed me. His hand moved ever closer and I got really scared, my heart rate increased. I could feel myself blushing. Of course, I was also afraid someone would find us there. Amy and my sister were right there, three feet away, and his parents were upstairs. If we had gotten caught, I probably would never be allowed out of my house again.
He moved his hand lower and slipped it underneath my bathing suit (which I still had on, because we'd gone swimming during the day) and began gently playing with me. It felt nice, but it was obvious that he was inexperienced with girls. I have often derived more pleasure by myself, but I cannot blame him; it wasn't his fault. Mind you, it was fun, because not being in control is nice once in a while.
But then a bit of time passed, and I knew that someone was going to find us so I made him stop.
It was an interesting experience that caused me much stress and guilt, but now that time has passed and I look back on it, I'm happy that I did it because it opened up a whole area of sexuality for me that I didn't think I was ever capable of. Meaning, that I thought my shyness would kill any possibilities of teen sexuality experiments for me. Now I've become a sort of 'slut' in the night =P. I'm willing to try all sorts of new things with the right person.
Another thing occured near the end of the summer but that's for another post. Thanks for giving me a place to tell my tale.