My GF's encouraged me to write these True experiences of my joys sexual development.
Unlike my parent's who left me to learn for myself, I never wanted a child within my Love to go through the fear and fright as I did.
Growing up I had sexual encounters with girls and later boys. I was always the innocent one. An older girlfriend initiated me quickly with her lust to play with girls. After my shock and awakening with Terri, I realized, although I enjoy the feeling I was simply a tool or device for her to impress her friends.
Terri and I were on the same Soccer Team. I thought she wanted to be my friend as she was always near and around me while changing and showering in the locker room before and after sports. We talked during and after school about many things. There was a time she raised the subject of boys and how far I had gone with them. I told her that I had been on dates but never allowed them to go any further, beyond kissing. She made a distant comment that I did not think much about, at the time. She said, 'For what boys were worth, there was more to the whole feeling than they would ever know'.
A few weeks later, she made an excuse for me to see her house and that she wanted me to look at a special award she had been given for an activity she was part of when she was away a Camp that past Summer. I did not think very much that there wasn't anyone at her home when we arrived. She and I ate a snack in her kitchen and she brought up the topic of boys again. She complained about boy's underwear and how strange they were the first time she was necking and they were at the point of feeling each other.
I was a young teen at the time, I never knew more than necessary about my menstrual cycle and it's role with being married and having children. I had never realized the connection of feelings and excitement, when I touched myself or anything further. My body was developing similar to the other girls I had see when showering at school. I figured Terri's breasts were larger because she was older.
I had no brothers or sisters, I never saw my parents without wearing clothes. Boy's underwear was something I had never thought of or seen. When Terri learned of this lack of knowledge, she quickly took me upstairs to her bedroom so she could show me her award. She had her own bedroom. After entering and looking around, she left, saying she would be right back. When Terri returned, she immediately took over the conversation; 'have you ever seen anything so weird?' holding her brother's jockey underwear, her fingers were poking through the envelope in the front of them.
She went into detail what the opening was for and then drifted the topic to our underwear. She had seen mine as well as I had seen what she wore while dressing in the locker rooms. But she wanted me to see the special ones she wore on dates. I started to have feelings I had experienced inside my stomach, behind my belly button ad a bit stuffy almost a tightening in my throat.
Terri went to her bureau, laid her brothers underwear on top and opened a middle drawer. After feeling around reaching toward the back of the drawer, she pulled out a piece of underwear that I had only seen in catalogues of my mother's. Terri told me that if she let a guy go as far as her underwear and he found her wearing these, he would think she knew about sex and she would be in control.
I should have burned that word in my mind, this was all new to me, I was overwhelmed, feeling a bit light headed, and the area behind my belly button was making the stuffy feeling grow, but I could breath fine. I knew I should not act surprised or shocked about our conversation. Being younger, I thought it was something girls her age discussed as openly as Terri. However, my legs were getting a bit weak, I walked to her bed and sat, hoping she would not think I was feeling the way I did, not knowing what it was, and nervous to confide this with her.
She pointed out that since I had gone as far as kissing boys, I should get underwear like she was showing me. 'Here, try these on, they may be a little bigger but you should know the fit'. That whole event, I realized, was getting far beyond my knowledge. I did not want to run away, I could not change the subject, and my mind was filled from the sensation in my stomach that seemed to be spreading like a fever through my body.
'Annie, go ahead, try these on, they are clean, you should try these before buying them.' She added, 'These are a step higher than thongs, but brief enough to make the guy think you are experienced, controlling him while you are necking is the key to success when dating guys.
I could only follow what she said, we had dressed and undressed so many times during soccer, I could not say I was shy, I was inexperienced with guy's, so I had to think she was right and trying to help me.
Without a lot of thinking, I got off the bed, and turned my back to Terri, as I a move to kick off my shoes. I took off my pants, sliding my cotton panties down to the floor with them. I looked up as my clothes fell to my feet and the floor, only to see my move to be prudent had miserably failed. In the mirror in front of me, I could see Terri, unaware of me seeing her in the reflection, as she stared at my naked body in the mirror and my fanny directly facing her. I had to turn for her to hand me the underwear. As I did Terri's eye's responsible looked at mine, thinking I had not seen her stare when I had tuned my back.
I slipped on her underwear it fit loosely around me. Terri walked up to me as I viewed my self in the mirror. She reached at the sides of the panties to pinch the material tight. She was so close behind me I felt her breath and long hair brushing my bare shoulder of my loose fitting, sleeveless shirt.
'This covers you perfectly, now hair around the edges, feel the front against you down there, how snug the fit?' I was still feeling the tension inside my tummy now feeling like a knot but without any aching. I felt her right hand let go of the side, and then I felt it flat against the cheek of my fanny. 'With a smaller size these will fit you very well even back here.'
I was lost without thought but intense feeling I had not felt before. Terri's left hand let go of the panties, both her hands moved around to hug me, her hands below my stomach, her finger messaging through the material. With command of her movements, I was locked in her arms; I looked into the mirror in front of me to see Terri looking into my eyes in the reflection. With a glistening smile she said, 'Annie, I wanted to show you my award from Camp, everyone said it is wonderful'.
With, what I thought was my chance to escape what I was feeling and she was doing I tried to perk up with my thought, 'Yes, Terri, show me your award'.
'Just relax, Annie, you will very soon.' I felt Terri's fingers lightly push the material of he panties aside; I could feel my skin exposed, then her fingers of a hand slide against me, between my legs.
My eyes were now fixated on looking into the mirror feeling with my eyes her hand where I had never given so much attention to, and this felt wonderful. A finger slipped into me where I thought I felt had become moist, but as she slowly withdrew her finger from it's short travel, the folds of my lips felt wetness I had never felt before.
Between my lips her finger drifted up toward my tummy, I felt her other hand below my belly button firmly pulling the skin on my flat stomach upward. A the top of my lips I saw a swollen button, I had only touched it by accident a few times, it was sensitive and the shock through me when I did touch it, made me aware to be careful there. But it was never that big, never that swollen, but I had never really focused on myself there especially no looking at myself close to a mirror.
My throat was clear, but I felt and was softly panting, a warm rush was passing through my body, but I was not hot, her touch felt sensitive, but so good. The knot inside was so tight I wanted it to break. I was paralyzed, but vibrating inside. This sensation was the most goodness I had ever felt.
When her finger touched my button I saw Terri's smile in the mirror, I could only close my eyes and fall back into her arms. I felt her lightly tapping on that spot a few times before my toes curled, my knees buckle, yet my legs stiffen as the sensation rolled up my body became rigid. A different feeling, emanating from her touch, pushing a powerful yet, fabulous bolt burst out of my body, as I squeaked an exhausting groan from my belly. I recall that I became limp into the comfort and warmth of Terri's arms I drifted into fainting.
When I returned, I felt so beautiful and lying naked being gentle held in arms. A hand, caressing my forehead, over my hair in a continuing soft motion, it was in a soothing way. I was startled; wincing closed my eyes to be sure I was naked. Thinking of how I shed all my clothes.
'How did you like my award?' As I opened my eyes looking up at Terri's smile and capturing eyes. 'My close friends at Camp called this an award. We gave it to each other and ourselves, a lot. Doesn't it feel great?'
Embarrassment was beyond my confusion and feelings. 'I wanted to give you this award for so long. Each time we were in the showers or dressing, I wanted to give this to you. You are so cute, I just love looking at your body, and you are so innocent. I know this would capture you without a fight.'
I could only stare in her eyes with an open mouth. I think I nodded my head in a yes motion. That was another mistake. I heard and felt that response, 'Girls can feel this a lot, I want to show you how, now that you will want to and understand the feeling'.
In my only thought I recalled saying to myself, 'Oh, my God, another departure from my body and senses!' Then assuring myself that if it felt that beautiful it was not bad, but I was so embarrassed naked and Terri was looking at all of me.
Oh, her hand felt so good, at the base of my breast, so tender there, I had never realized. Cupping me as her hand softly closed, her fingers firm gasp, surrounding its travel to the center, my nipple was hard, I was not cold. Two fingers touched, and then lightly twisted the tip. A flow, as if electric but nice raced to my belly button and the calm button I last remember her tapping.
'Oh, Annie I want you to know this award will be your second Orgasm in your life. I know you have never felt this before, I could just tell the way you had your first Orgasm you had never felt it before.' With glazed eyes, as if through a fog, I looked at her face and made that fateful error with a nodding, yes.
That was Terri's perception I wanted more. I felt her take liberty moving her hand over my stomach, passing my sweet spot down my left legs, up to my waist and back down my right. Her hands seemed like a warning of impending touch that created my last release of new pleasure. A feeling I wanted again, this time to know and with understanding.
Terri had me as hers, to teach me my pleasure, I thought for me. She masturbated me to an Orgasm. When I returned the second time from bliss she commented that everyone had left for a family birthday party, she made the excuse of soccer practice after school. We would be alone until early evening. In a one way and no escape directive she 'encouraged' me to call home, that I was at her house, will have an early dinner and be home by eight.
Doing as told, I turned to where I thought she was I the room to find she was beautifully naked. It was then that I realized my love of girls. So soft, so exciting to see, and my gaining understanding to know what each of us feel.
She instructed me to lie on her bed, telling me she was to give an award better than I had felt before. On her last word I collapsed in her requested position saying to myself, Oh, my God, another departure from my body and senses!'
I felt wanting more, still not with all thought, but dearly enjoying my award more each time she presented it to me. Her hands inside my knees she spread my legs lying between then with her eyes seeing my most private spot and more of me than I had ever seen. Yet, without embarrassment, perhaps trust I lay as calm as I could with a new sensation of her tongue all around and inside a place I now treasure with fascination. So many different Orgasms I felt each different way she pleasured me. My treasure bringing so must excitement while attention paid to my body in places that amplified each explosion.
The next was with a toy she asked an older friend to purchase, a vibrator in the shape of a penis. That was the first one I had seen not realizing the many real ones that I would enjoy to follow. In the aftermath of my rainbow of sensations from that delight, I wanted to see Terri have an Orgasm, I wanted to see her have what I had felt.
I wanted to watch, and give, so I felt all over her body as she, this time, laid on the bed. Oh, I knew the way I felt, I love sharing pleasure with girls. I almost peaked capping my attention to her breast by sucking her nipple like a baby suckling breast milk. This, she enjoyed as much I had felt earlier.
I fingered and rubbed her 'pussy' as she had done to me. Her controlling nature started to surface with words of how best to feel and touch. I did not mind I loved knowing more. I loved it all, every moment until she started breathing, in short panting breaths, I saw her toes start to curl; she did not need to announce her impending joy. I watched and heard her opening to me this time. I was so excited watching her start to Orgasm. As she let out of her more than I, with sounds of joy, I started to do to myself what she had done to me, almost without thought.
As Terri was still powering through her Orgasm she opened her eyes to see my ministrations. I saw her climb to higher excitement seeing me, excited, as I was Masturbating openly to her. Terri continued with the same Orgasm as she Masturbated for me.
The room could have turned upside-down without us aware of it. We were lost into each other. I was so excited I continued wanting my Orgasm and kept Masturbating. Terri wanted the same and did herself more.
That evening while leaving for home, I was so filled with all of my body, yet exhausted from so much brought out of me. We did kiss during our events; we hugged and shared words with feeling. But Terri did her part in a commanding way of passion she was training me for commands. As I left he parting words, 'Good Night my Toy Annie'
As time passed my desire for pleasure captured me from my first Orgasm. I wanted to please the person that first pleasured me, any and all she wanted. She invited me over for the first weekend her parents went away, 'Soccer' practice permitted her home alone, and permission from parent to parent for me with spent the weekend with her. To give her pleasure when she desired, to give me pleasure in ways she desired. She invited another girl for an afternoon, I was to be naked and please them. I was naive to think I was a slave. I didn't mind giving pleasure, I enjoyed and was aroused being naked around them. I licked, felt, stroked and administered to their pleasures. I was not embarrassed to even masturbate for her friends. I felt no inhibition, as I had not been given limits of our social ways.
Then it did not stop there on that weekend. Terri taught me about boys and I loved what I shared. I enjoyed their penis, watching, feeling tasting their Cum. I was not embarrassed when Terri wanted me to walk around naked in front of them. I felt no guilt Masturbating for the boy's, girls and Terri.
After a year, I caught on to the meaning of pleasure with Terri. I was the source of her excitement, arousal, thrill and her Orgasms. I was the toy that brought the Orgasms to Terri and her girlfriends, I was the point Terri told the boys to shoot for, but never inside my pussy.
It was my not knowing or understanding that my thirst to know my sexuality had made me a slave to my body and pleasures. I masturbated at home. I had no desire to date while I was with Terri. And when I was with Terri, when she wanted an Orgasm I delightfully gave. When she wanted to see me or give me an Orgasm I did with Joy. But I realized I did not have control of pleasure. Terri had taken that.
It was not until I was in College, away from Terri; I went on dates with guys and shared with Girls. It was then I realized all the meaning of intimacy and feelings around that beauty.
I hold not disregard for Terri, I still have a special place I will always think of her dearly. But it is in my heart that I became aware of all the pleasure and beauty-sharing intimacy emanates from, not just my pussy.
When Libby was showing signs of developing into being a teenager, I realized it was time to become aware of her sexuality so this would develop and grow, as she became a Woman. I did this as a Loving Mother, not a child molester. Yes, I became aroused. Yes, I had Orgasms that matched when I was with Terri. Yes, we bonded intimately and shared as one. Both Libby and I, to this day, feel it was one of the most beautiful experiences we have felt in our lives.
They say Breastfeeding your child is the closest a mother will ever be with their child. Perhaps, it is that is, yet from the moment that the relatives and friends finished giving their attention to my newborn Libby and I, Breastfeeding was more than close for me. From the first moment alone with Libby as I held my nipple close to her lips, the sensation when she latched on I became aroused. It was when my milk would let down and flow through my Breast that I became overwhelmed with excitement. The arousal I felt inside slowly grew to a level of excitement I had only felt when I was give my first Orgasm. There was fulfillment growing in my soul and spirit holding my Libby suckling milk from my breast, as another of my creations of this flowed from within my womb. From all the creations of me brought my arousal slow to a level I had only felt when given my first Orgasm, I exploded into an Orgasm I never thought I would feel again. While I was building with excitement, I looked into Libby's glowing eyes for her to see into me and me into her newborn soul. This was intimacy of myself that opened to Libby in the most passionate loving spirit of life, only a Woman will know. This I could not hold back, this I shared with my Child.
I quickly learn to feed Libby and have a hand available. Breastfeeding her stirred my desires so deep I was Masturbating to thundering Orgasms until Libby was full. After placing her to rest in her crib, there would still be milk remaining, and desire burning. Oh, the Orgasms after feeding, in those private sessions with myself for the first month. I needed more suckling of my sweet milk to peak all my passion. My husband, disinterested in sex except when I realized he was so up tight I would make him Cum, leaving me to my own, if I had not. He would never suckle me beyond Orgasm.
I noticed my girl friend, Mary, trying not to stare with glazed eyes, when I would be in her company and breastfeeding Libby. Horny as it made me, until Mary left, or a break to 'powder my nose'; I did not want Mary to know my secret arousal. It was within a week, I realized Mary stopped by at feeding time. I noticed her legs opening and squeezing with a flush appearance on her face. Her hand under the table, I noticed her shoulder movement up and down. I found my solution for my needs when Libby was full.
I am not sure who was more aroused with excitement when I directly ask Mary if she would suckle my breast empty and body aching with need to Orgasm. Oh, Mary and I kissed, hugged and spoke words of caring with each other. I would love so much when I placed Libby to rest after feeding and for Mary to deplete my breast of milk while I emptied my aroused desires.
Mary made it clear her feelings of excitement and longing to suckle my breast. She confided the timely visits were platforms for her hasty retreat home and pleasure herself reaching heights of Orgasms she had never known. She confided with me never have been with another Woman, yet, seeing me breastfeeding Libby, became the source of her dreams for sexual pleasure her husband, also, never provided for her. Her husband left her in such need; she admitted it was less than a day that would pass when she would help herself to her own intimate pleasure.
We were both nervous at first, starting by Masturbating as Mary suckled me. Mary felt comfortable with her dress and top on, no underwear so she could rub her excitement to passion. I kept my milking bra on and a skirt without underwear to follow her level of inhibition.
That attire did not last long. Mary had an erotic idea she felt would also excite me. She filled her mouth with my milk, calmly rose to my lips to kiss and share my milk with her tongue on mine. This was a very erotic idea, it made our body's hot beyond any shyness of each other, we tore off our clothes and had sexual pleasure only two women know with completeness.
Mary and I share many sexually passionate sessions as Libby slept and we fulfilled our 'mission' to empty my Breast while calming my sexual fire. My husband's lack of care for intimacy and more interest in his job shifted my heart away. This companionship was Loving, Beautiful, Arousing, Exciting and Erotic. Mary did not have all of my heart, I was happy to feel and be aware of this, and happy that Mary felt the same understanding. I knew that this would not be a control relationship; it was sharing and loving to give each other pleasure intimately and sexually. Those times together were fabulous and joyful.
As time grew near to wean off my Breast's and to my dismay, Mary was offer a wonderful job opportunity in a distant State. These were two sad loses for me; however, I have always looked at positive aspects for energy. Mary had found and realized honesty with her secret soul searching to share passion with another woman, her fantasy lived to suckle sweet milk from a Woman's breasts and a great future continuing her career. Mary and I had shared passion and erotic desires many Women would only have dreamed. I had never thought to find again the joy we felt in our Spirit and Soul, most enchanting of all this relationship was with sharing and feelings. My erotic arousal from Breastfeeding will be missed. It could be induced, if passion found with another or my husband would ever open to me. Poor Libby had become attached, in a different way to Mary, but Libby will have positive images of Mary when older.
This was close to what I convey in the feeling for Love of a Mother to Libby. I recall so clearly, as I brought Libby to her First Orgasm, I felt with her experience the innocent pleasure awakening her body and feelings for the journey of a Teenage Girl into becoming a Woman. The Bedroom was filled with Love and Beauty of Arousing Excitement as I held her close as the waves of Orgasm inside her shaking form calmed.
My husband had planned a week of golf with his 'men' friend's. I checked both our monthly periods and that was clear. It was summer, so school would not be a conflict of time. I wanted everything to be ready, perfect, but not planned. Spontaneity of feelings and passion is needed, and I wanted as much of Libby's special time with me as possible. This would be special for Mother also, perhaps the last sharing we may have.
However, some aspects needed thought. Masturbation will be the start, or should it be my gift to her with her first Orgasm. I could show her and Masturbate, opening to her with Orgasms of myself. I would Climax so deep, so far, that might be too much. After a few self-pleasuring sessions to fantasize the thought, I felt it was being selfish; we would be Masturbating after her first feeling a Woman Song of Joy........